One Rule
by FrenchFryLovesYou
Summary: As a child Matthew had to bear witness to the fights between his 2 fathers. The things he witnessed scarred him and forced him to make up a rule. NEVER FALL IN LOVE. Of course, Gilbert doesn't agree with that rule...  PruCan
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Ok so I watched an AMV and this idea came to my head. I love the plot and pairing and such so don't be afraid to tell me what you think. This is just the intro so it doesn't really get into the actual story just yet. (I promise I'm still working on my other projects as well!) **

**So I love reviews and Matthew hugs those that review so please let me know what you think!**

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"What the hell do you expect me to do Arthur?" Francis screamed across the room.

"What do you want to do?" Arthur retaliated. "You always pin this shit on me anyway damn it"

"Well, I want you to stop fucking drinking all the time and get your shit together Arthur." Francis was usually calm and nice but, this irked him endlessly. "I want you to not be drunk right now!"

"I'll do what I want. I didn't marry you so you could boss me around!" Arthur screamed the words. "I also don't want you here bitching at me. This might be why the kid won't talk to me."

Francis sighed. "Leave Mathieu out of this Arthur."

Arthur was fuming now. "He's my kid too but, won't even look in my direction. He never talks to me and he just sits in his room alone all day."

Francis sighed, this again. "You know as well as I do that Matthew isn't stupid. He knows about the fighting you idiot."

"I really don't care!" Arthur yelled.

Little Matthew Williams watched all of this from behind the staircase. He refused to come out from this hiding spot. It was the only place his was safe from his fathers arguments.

Alfred was lucky. He wasn't home right now and Matthew could really use his twin. He just needed someone who knew what living in this house could be like. He needed someone that lived here who he didn't have to constantly hide from. That's what his brother was there for. Alfred was his hero and always helped him.

He wished his papa could have a hero. He knew that his father stayed up at night sometimes and cried. He also knew that his father had bruises on his arms sometimes. That was when Arthur got really drunk and hit him. Matthew really didn't like Arthur then. He didn't want papa to cry all night. He wanted his dad to be happy and not have to cry and wear long sleeves to hide the bruises.

Matthew hated his stepdad for all of this. He didn't really consider Arthur family because family didn't hurt each other. A family helped each other. They had been a family a few years ago. But, then the fighting started and that all ended.

"I'm done with this Arthur. I can't do this anymore. I'm done." Francis said the words with tears in his eyes.

"What do you mean you're done? You can't be done with me Francis!" Arthur raged.

"Arthur I love you but, this is just far too much for a person to take. You can't be very happy with this either." Francis pleaded.

"How the hell do you know how I fucking feel? You love… bullshit. You just love to boss me around all the fucking time. You act as if I was one of your children. That's Alfred and Matthew, not me." Arthur was getting louder.

"Arthur calm down please." Francis had regained some of his composure.

That was when Arthur threw the picture frame at Francis. It missed and the shattered glass lay at Matthew's feet. It was a picture of the four of them taken a year beforehand. Oh how he wished he could go back to then.

* * *

Matthew woke up and tried to get the image out of his head. The broken glass with the old photograph in it was imprinted on his mind. He reached up to brush his blond hair away from his face and felt the tears there. The dream had left them as a reminder that it wasn't just a dream, it was also his past.

Matthew stood up and walked down the hall and into his twin's room. Alfred lay there asleep but, Matthew needed him right now. He needed his brother so he could remember that it was just that, the past. He needed to remember that he wasn't the scared little kid hiding behind the staircase anymore. "Al. Are you awake?"

"Hmmm…." Alfred rolled over and looked at his brother. "I am now. Why'd you wake me up?" He noticed the tears on Matthew's face. "Damn Mattie. The dream again?"

"Yeah it was… still pretty bad. I needed to see you and remember that it wasn't happening now." Matthew's voice shook.

Alfred sighed, "I'm here and papa is just downstairs and Arthur is not here anymore." He patted the spot next to him on the bed. "Come on over Mattie. Don't fall asleep though because it's already eight and not worth it. We have a meeting to go to today anyway."

Matthew smiled a bit and lay down next to his twin. "Thanks Al. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Alfred smirked, "Freak out?"

Matthew laughed, "Yeah probably."

Matthew sat in silence and thought about his parents and how they used to fight. That experience had been pivotal in making him who he was. That experience had given him his one rule in life. It was a rule that the twins shared and promised one another they would never break.

_Don't fall in love. Never let yourself fall in love. _Falling in love meant fighting and breaking up. Falling in love meant abuse when the other was drunk and got mad for no apparent reason. Falling in love meant getting hurt like his father had been hurt. Falling in love meant making yourself vulnerable.

Matthew swore years ago that he would never let that happen. He wouldn't cry like he had seen Francis do so many times in the past. He wouldn't ever let himself be that close to a person. It just wouldn't happen.

Alfred was thinking in a similar vein. He glanced up at Matthew. "Remember the rule Mattie. Don't you dare forget that."

Matthew nodded. "You don't forget it either.

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**AN: and so it begins... the tale of this rule and how it affects Matthew's life. and how others seek to break said rule! Review please.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to all of you that reviewed, favorited, and alerted! It makes me smile to see that some people reviewing "Gilbook" read this as well! I really love you guys for reading my stuff and reviewing it! You guys make my day and make me want to write even more!**

**Anyway, I'm sorry about the wait… I gave myself a few days off from writing but, now I'm back in my fast updating glory! I really hope you guys like this!**

**Please review! Mattie hugs people that review (Would you guys believe that I read over my author notes to make sure I mention the Mattie hug?)

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Matthew and Alfred went downstairs about half an hour later. They sat down at the table that Francis had already set for breakfast. "Ah... I see you two are awake. Breakfast is on."

Alfred leaned closer to Matthew, "Hey Mattie, food might be better if you cooked me some pancakes." The brothers both knew that Matthew's pancakes were better than anything their father could make for them. Alfred made the comment every morning as a joke. They didn't tell Francis that of course.

"I know Al." Matthew chuckled at the thought. "I'm not making pancakes though so forget about it."

After eating, the three of them got into the car and went to the building where the world meeting was being held. They walked into the usual chaos. Many of the nations were arguing and Ludwig was taking his usual place as the leader. He was trying to get the rest of the nations to stop the fighting so the meeting could start.

Matthew went to take his usual spot next to Alfred when he felt a hand on his shoulder, "Who the hell?" he turned to see his albino friend standing behind him, "Oh... hey Gil."

"Aren't you supposed to be nice and polite Birdie? Saying hell just doesn't fit." Gilbert smiled.

"You don't usually come to meetings that take place in the morning… or the afternoon… you only come when your brother makes you really." Matthew liked hanging out with Gilbert but, the ex-nation definitely had some issues. He was never at meetings unless his brother, Ludwig, forced him to go. He also liked to drink and then call Mattie and ask for a ride home.

"Yeah, West said I had to come to this one or else. I'm guessing the or else meant: come or I'll kick your awesome ass out of my house." Gilbert laughed. "Seeing as I have nowhere else to go… I'm here."

Matthew laughed, not at all surprised. In reality, he was thinking of moving out from his father's house and going elsewhere. He was Canada and not dependent on Francis any longer. His mind drifted back to this morning. Before moving, he would have to make sure that he could stay on his own without needing his brother.

Matthew shook the thoughts away when he realized Gilbert had been talking. "What did you say?"

Gilbert sighed, "Must I repeat everything... honestly Mattie, you need to learn to pay closer attention. I said 'would you like to sit next to me during the meeting?'"

Matthew looked at Alfred then nodded. His brother would get over it. "Sure."

Gilbert gave one of his signature smart ass smiles that drove most people crazy. "Thanks Birdie!"

Several minutes later, Matthew was sitting next to Gilbert and Ludwig had started the meeting. Matthew was trying to pay attention but, couldn't help laughing when Gilbert did an impression of his brother. The laughter caused a glare from Ludwig which made the pair laugh even harder.

Gilbert spent the entire meeting goofing around and making it the most fun meeting that Matthew had ever endured. "Thanks Gil… that was more fun then I ever remember these things being."

Gilbert gave a self assured smile. "Of course, you've got the awesome me to entertain you."

Matthew stood up because the meeting was over, "You should come again some time."

Gilbert shrugged, "Maybe. Hey, do you want to hang out soon?"

Matthew thought about it. "Well…" he thought back to his brother. Alfred did not like Gilbert and Matthew hanging out so he doubted his brother would want him too. His brother had helped him so much that morning that he figured he should respect his wished for once. "I'm actually pretty busy right now."

Gilbert's face fell, "Oh… ok… just wanted to talk to you was all."

Matthew sighed, "Maybe next week?"

Gilbert's smile was huge at that, "Awesome! I'll text you later!"

Matthew waved good bye before going back to his father and brother. His heart dropped when he noticed Francis talking to Arthur. That was one sight that he never wanted to see. As if reading his mind, Alfred walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Relax; I'm sure he's just being nice."

_Of course_, Mattie thought. _Francis is just being friendly and talking to him. It doesn't mean anything. _His stomach hurt nonetheless.

They waited for a few minutes until Francis returned. "Alright, going home now."

On the car ride home Matthew asked his father about Arthur and his heart sunk even lower when he saw the blush that appeared on Francis' face. "O... we were just discussing some things… being friendly is all. Nothing to worry about."

Matthew and Alfred exchanged a look that said that they knew what Francis was saying was a complete lie. The blush had told them all the facts.

That night, Matthew had yet another nightmare.

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**AN: like that ending don't you? Wonder what he dreamed this time around (evil laughter) So I think this chapter was pretty good. I had to start up Mattie and Gilbert's relationship a bit here. Just give a bit of insight into the dynamic at the moment. **

**So what about Francis and Arthur… wonder what they were talking about? (O wait… I already know… you will have to wait! *more evil laughter*) **

**Anyway, I hope you guys liked it! Please review!**

**Oh and before I forget… if any of you have any suggestions for a Halloween one-shot let me know. I'm planning on doing a few of these by the end of the month! They can be PruCan or another pairing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So you know what makes me really happy? The fact that the person who made the original AMV this was all spawned from decided to review and favorite and alert! That is a total win for me because it just is!**

**Anyway, I'm glad that you guys seemed to like the last chapter! I hope you like this one as well! **

**Reviews make me happy and make my day so much better than it had originally been so please review! And Mattie gives you hugs when you review so make Mattie hug you all!**

**Enjoy

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"Arthur will you just listen to me for once?"

"I'll listen when you have something interesting to say for once in your damn life," Arthur snarled.

"Really Arthur? Do we have to fight like this every time you get a little bit of alcohol in your system? It's really ridiculous at this point." Francis was keeping as calm as he possibly could.

"Like I'm the only one fighting here."

"Right now you are Arthur… and please keep it down; I don't want the kids to hear any of this."

Arthur just sneered, "You act like I care about them right now."

Matthew hid in the closet with tears in his eyes. This is what he normally did when his fathers fought. Hearing his father figure say that he didn't care about him or his brother broke his heart.

"Arthur really? I know that you love both Alfred and Mathieu so stop lying to me like the idiot that you're being." Francis ran up the stairs, "Come talk to me when you're sober."

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Matthew stirred in his sleep as the memory ended and was replaced by another.

* * *

"Arthur… why do we keep doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Why do we keep fighting and making up and fighting again. We know that another fight is just around the corner so why do we keep doing this?" Francis asked sadly.

"What do you mean? It's worth it… it definitely is worth it."

"Arthur… I love you but, I don't think that even love can help us out at this point. We just fight too much and I'm not sure how much longer I can do this Arthur! I can't keep arguing with you when you're drunk and trying to make things better when you're sober… I just can't." Francis' eyes were pleading.

"What are you getting at Francis?" Arthur did not like the sound of that.

"Maybe… maybe our time is running out Arthur."

"No it is not! It can't be because I won't let it be." Arthur fumed.

"Don't be mad at me."

"I will get mad at you!" Arthur reached out and hit Francis.

Matthew had been sitting in the hallway, transfixed on the scene before him. What was going on? What did all of this mean for their family?

He stayed outside of the door that night when he heard his French father's sobs. that was when the rule started to look like a great idea… that was when he knew that love wasn't worth the time and effort and pain that it so often caused.

* * *

Matthew awoke with tears in his eyes. He needed to know what his father had been talking about with Arthur. He needed to know if they were falling back in love with one another because he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let love into his life because love had been what had destroyed Francis. He couldn't let himself fall in love either because that would mean pain for all involved.

Matthew glanced at the clock and saw that it was already nine in the morning. That was a reasonable time to be awake at the very least. That meant that Francis was probably in the kitchen and Alfred was probably still asleep. That meant that he could ask his father about Arthur.

Matthew walked into the kitchen to see his father in front of the stove preparing breakfast for his sons.

"Oh… Mathieu, I was wondering when one of you was going to wake up. It's nine so I figured you would be out soon. No hope for your twin of course."

"Yeah Papa… Alfred loves his sleep as we both know." Matthew paused. "Actually, I have something that I wanted to talk to you about." He waited for his father to answer.

Francis looked up, curious. "What is it Mathieu?"

"Well, I saw you talking to…. Arthur again yesterday and I was wondering what were you talking about. I know that you said it was just being friendly but…" Matthew stopped. He was starting to get nervous. He hated confrontation and didn't want to show his dad that he was worried about him possibly still loving Arthur. He never usually asked things like this anyway. He should have waited for Alfred to wake up and ask for him.

"But? You think that it may have been more than that?" Francis sat across from Matthew, the faint blush from the car the day before returning.

"Y-yes." Matthew managed to get out.

Francis sighed, "Lying to you boys just gets harder every day. I keep forgetting that you're not little kids that are easily fooled anymore. You are no longer colonies." Francis looked at his son. "We were talking about some things. Some of them involving the past and others more recent events. Would you like something more specific?"

Matthew was spared answering for a short period of time when his phone vibrated. He had a new text message.

_Hey Birdie! It's Gil (as if you didn't know it was the awesome me! You have my number on your phone so I'm pretty sure you do.) I told you that I'd text you and I hope I'm not waking you up or anything. _

_So text me back because I want to hang out but, you already said that you're busy this week so maybe we can next week. Maybe we could go to a bar or whatever and I could grace you with my awesome presence!_

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew stared at his phone. It was strange for Gilbert to be awake this early so he wanted to text back.

_Hey Gil. You didn't wake me up. I am already sitting at the table with Francis (No I will not make you pancakes before you ask.) why are you up so early? That's unusual for you. Next week just might work so let me know when you have a particular day in mind because I want to hang out with you as well._

_So Gil. A bar would be ok if we can't come up with anything else. Let me know_

_~Matthew Williams_

Francis coughed to regain Matthew's attention. "O-oh. S-sorry Papa. I was just texting Gilbert and…"

"It's alright _Mon petite Mathieu, _now would you like to know anything more specific?"

"Well… were you guys arguing about the past or recounting it or talking about the fact that you still love each other-" Matthew cut himself off.

"We were talking about the good parts of the past. And we did not say anything about still having feelings for one another." Francis answered. Matthew noticed how his eyes darted to the side and felt his stomach drop. They were talking about something along those lines because his father was lying.

"Well… I'll go outside for a bit… call me when breakfast is ready." Matthew hurried outside just as his phone went off again.

_Anytime is good with me my Birdie. You just give me the time and I'll be there. And if you don't want to go to a bar, we can always go somewhere else. Maybe an amusement park or a movie or a club or somewhere else if you want to. _

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew wiped the tears that had appeared in his eyes before responding.

_Maybe we could go to a movie next weekend? That would be cool with me if you want to go as well. Maybe Saturday night because that sounds the best for my schedule. It should be fun._

_~Matthew Williams_

The response was very fast this time.

_Cool! Can't wait! I'll text you again later or tomorrow! _

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew just wanted to cry when he read the message. At least he had something to look forward to for next Saturday. He didn't even care if it pissed his brother off. It didn't matter to him by this point.

**AN: Yay for new chapter. For those of you reading Gilbook... yes I did steal Gilbert's signature from there **_**~TheAwesomeGil**_** because I can and Gil would definitely do that for his end of text message. **

**And I have posted a bunch of Halloween one-shots that need some love (Hint, hint) and if you read some of my other stuff and reviewed it I would love you forever!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: …. Long time in between updates…. So very sorry for that. I blame school and AP English for that. I promise that I won't be slowed by much! **

**Thanks for the comments on the last chapter. You people really make my day every time you review. I see every review, every favorite, and every alert. They all warm my heart and make me smile. Please review some more! (Mattie will hug you!)**

**So I hope you like this chapter! (I really feel bad for Mattie at times)

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Francis called Matthew for breakfast about an hour later and he grudgingly went back inside.

Matthew faked a smile for his dad and brother but, he knew that Alfred didn't believe it one bit. Alfred was one of the few people who saw the Canadian. To Alfred, Matthew was never really invisible. His brother had only forgotten him once or twice in the past. Francis had forgotten Canada a few times in the past but, Mattie knew that his father cared.

Matthew ate in mostly silence. He laughed at Al's lame jokes and made sure to smile or answer when his father asked him a question.

Mostly, Matthew thought about what had gone on between him and Francis earlier that morning. He obviously still had feelings for Arthur and maybe, maybe they had talked about it on the day of the meeting. Matthew didn't really know anymore. All he knew was that he didn't want his father to fall back in love. That would mean pain and loneliness that went along with love. Matthew would never put himself through that hell… not for anyone.

* * *

After breakfast, Matthew quickly went up to his room.

He sat down on his bad and looked around the room. It really did fit him. The blue comforters and sheets; white walls with various hair metal posters on them; the computer in the corner; and the notebooks and such on the floor. All of those things were things that meant something to Mattie.

Then, there was the most important thing in the room. Right next to his bed was a sign. It said, "Remember, the number one rule." It didn't elaborate on the rule but, Matthew knew what it was.

Hearing a knock on the door, Matthew sat up and sighed as he approached the door. He opened it and saw his twin looking at him from the other side. "Mind if I come in Mattie?"

Matthew sighed, "Not at all… come right in." then, he walked back over to his bed and sat down.

Alfred took his brother up on that and sat down next to Matthew on the bed. "Mattie… is something wrong?"

"Not at all," Mattie lied.

"Don't lie to me Matt…. Can't you just tell me what's going on?"

Matthew almost broke into tears, "I-I'm worried about dad… h-he was talking to Arthur again and…"

Alfred sighed, "Yeah I know. Just trust dad though. He won't do anything stupid."

Matthew just nodded.

The two sat in silence for about ten minutes before Alfred spoke. "So what are your plans today?"

"I have none."

"How about we go to the mall and hang out then?"

Matthew considered this and then nodded. "Sure. How about we go in an hour?"

Alfred smiled and agreed. "Sounds cool to me."

Matthew did have a lot of work to do this week but, he could waste this day with his twin and have fun before the work started. Sometimes, being a nation got kind of aggravating.

Alfred left the room in order to give Mattie some time to get ready to leave for the mall. Mattie knew he only needed about ten minutes so he got on his computer.

As soon as he logged on, he got a message.

_TheAwesomeGil: Hey little Birdie _

_MWilliams: What's up?_

_TheAwesomeGil: Nothing… just sitting at home bored… you?_

_MWilliams: Taking a break from all the work I have to do this week… being a nation sucks some days._

_TheAwesomeGil: I'm sure it does. Can't wait for next Saturday! _

_MWilliams: __ I know! Should be pretty fun to get away from everything._

_TheAwesomeGil: ?_

_MWilliams: Lots of work._

_TheAwesomeGil: Oh…sorry matt. Hope all goes well… when's the next world meeting?_

_MWilliams: about 2 weeks… y?_

_TheAwesomeGil: Just curious_

_MWilliams: well… gotta get back to doing shit… I'll talk to you later Gil_

_TheAwesomeGil: kk I'll txt you later!_

Matthew signed out and sighed. Gil was probably his best friend. One of the few nations that actually remembered his existence and one of the few that actually cared what he thought about things. Mattie talked to Gil every time he got online because that was apparently the only thing that Gilbert ever did. That and say he was awesome constantly.

About an hour later, Matthew was in the living room waiting for his brother. He felt a little bit bad for lying to Gil about working but, Al would be pissed if he found out that Matthew was hanging out with Prussia. Alfred hated the Prussian for some strange reason.

Alfred ran down the stairs and hugged Matthew. "Yay, we can leave now… I already told dad."

Matthew sighed, "So papa was okay with us leaving?"

"Totally."

The twins walked out of the house and over to the car. Alfred drove because according to him, that's what heroes do.

* * *

They got to the mall and wandered for about half an hour before they needed food. Alfred chose the place that he knew sold hamburgers because that was Alfred's favorite food. Matthew didn't see the appeal of hamburgers but, didn't say anything about it to his brother.

After they ate, the boys continued to walk around for a while. Then, Matthew wished they hadn't come.

The person that the twins saw was the last person Matthew wanted to encounter. They were face to face with Arthur Kirkland and none too happy about it.

"O-oh… nice running into you boys."

Alfred glared at his former father figure with actual hatred in his eyes. It was Arthur's fault that his brother was hurting all the time. It was his fault that neither of the twins could trust anyone. It was his fault that Francis still cried at night some days when he thought the boys weren't around.

Matthew felt tears coming but, fought them off. "O-oh… didn't think I'd run into you A-Arthur."

Alfred stood in between his brother and Arthur. "Go figure… seeing you out in public. Kinda awkward isn't it?"

"Now why would it be awkward Alfred? There is nothing between us anymore."

Alfred sneered. "You made our life hell for a few years and you say that's nothing."

Matthew looked at his brother, "Alfred don't."

Arthur sighed and looked hurt. These kids were once his own. He had loved both of them with all his heart and that hadn't changed, even to this day. Yet, it was obvious that they hated the Englishman with a passion. "I guess I'll be going then."

After Arthur walked away, Matthew looked at Al again. "Do you want to leave now or walk around a bit more?" his voice was weak because of the onslaught of tears that wanted to break free.

Alfred sighed, "Why don't we stay for a bit longer. We can't let that annoying brit ruin our day."

Matthew nodded and they continued. The rest of the trip went really well but, after the incident, whenever Matthew saw a couple walking together he had mixed reactions. He either wanted to cry or yell at them. Either it upset him or he thought about how stupid those people were.

The twins were quiet all the way home, each lost in his own thoughts. Mattie hated that he'd seen Arthur. He hated Arthur for what he had done to his papa. Their family had been just fine before Arthur decided to screw it all up. They had been happy before Arthur had started drinking again.

* * *

Matthew forced himself to stop thinking as they walked into the living room of their house.

Francis ran up to them and hugged them. "Bonjour how was your day? Dinner is ready!"

Alfred smiled, "We had a great time."

They all walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. During dinner, Alfred told Francis about the trip to the mall (omitting the part about Arthur) and Matthew sat in silence.

As soon as dinner ended, Mattie went straight up to his room and locked the door. He buried his head in the pillow and cried. It wasn't fair that other people could be so happy and carefree and stupid while he had to deal with the past every damn day. He wished that he could so easily be distracted and told that everything was just fucking dandy. He wished he didn't live in a permanent hell.

After half an hour of tears, Matthew sat up as his phone vibrated. There was a text from Gilbert.

_Hope work wasn't too hard on you 2day. Wouldn't want my birdie to overwork himself! You want to talk now or are you still working?_

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew loved the fact that Gilbert had actually texted him later like he had promised.

_No… work wasn't too bad… just kinda annoying, as usual. I won't overwork myself but, there is a weeks worth of work to get done so no promises :P can't wait till I have a day off! This stuff needs to get less busy. _

_Actually, I'm kinda tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed early._

_~Matthew_

He was lying about the tired part, he was pretty sure that he would stay up pretty late, thinking about everything.

_That's cool with me! You will have a break next weekend Birdie! I promise that it'll be fun! No work at the very least! _

_Night Birdie… have some awesome dreams!_

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew turned off his phone and lay down. Surprisingly, he actually fell asleep before long…

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**AN: kinda long chapter but, fun none the less. Not much happens here but, I think I like this one anyway. **

**So I really love writing IM's. I may do a fic that has mostly IM's and facebook… I think that would be fun. Any ideas or suggestions on that one…**

**And I'm considering doing a Gilbo advice column… I think that'd be fun! **

**Please review this and read my other stuff because then you're really awesome!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So this update time wasn't anywhere near as bad as the last one… I now am trying to have a few chapters typed up at a time so I can update faster for you guys… with AP English and all there's no promises though but, I'm still here!**

**Not too much of a response for the last chapter… that saddens me. I hope for better one this time! I actually liked the last one too… Oh Well! **

**Reviews make my day a little bit brighter and they are always loved. Please review!

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It was a few days since Matthew and Alfred's trip to the mall and Matthew's hectic work schedule had made sure that he wasn't lying to Gilbert when he said he was busy. Work kept Matthew busy and didn't allow his mind to process too much else. That was a good and bad thing.

On one hand, Matthew was too busy to think to deeply into the Arthur issue. On the other, he had to do a lot of work.

As Saturday came closer, Matthew found less and less time to text and IM Gil. He had wiped his schedule for Saturday though. There was no way that he was letting that day be full of work as well.

The other problem with work was that once it was over, all Mattie could do was lie down in his bed and think. The night was the time he dreaded the most. That was when memories became clearer and pain became more and more obvious. Matthew knew that some of his fears and insecurities were ungrounded but, due to his horrendous past, he couldn't avoid them.

Matthew's dreams were still plagued with memories both good and bad. On most nights, they started off innocently enough. They started with a good memory of when things were still together. It would end in a nightmarish memory full of pain and despair though.

Matthew shook off the thoughts, it was Saturday now, the day he had been looking forward to since the last world meeting. He was feeling really guilty now though. He had lied to Alfred, telling him that he was going to the movies with Feliciano instead of Gilbert. He felt bad about lying to his twin but, Alfred wouldn't want him anywhere near the Prussian.

Matthew sat on his computer when he saw an IM from Gilbert pop up.

_TheAwesomeGil: Hey Birdie… guess what?_

_MWilliams: What?_

_TheAwesomeGil: I said to guess!_

_MWilliams: You're awesome?_

_TheAwesomeGil: True… but, not what I was talking about._

_MWilliams: What then?_

_TheAwesomeGil: It's Saturday!_

_MWilliams: I know that Gil_

_TheAwesomeGil: And we're goin to the movies 2day!_

_MWilliams: I know that too_

_TheAwesomeGil: I know that u know… I'm just excited as hell!_

_MWilliams: movie starts at 7 right?_

_TheAwesomeGil: Yep! U wanna meet there or u want me to pick u up?_

_MWilliams: …u pick me up sound cool?_

_TheAwesomeGil: Yep!_

_MWilliams: well, see u later then!_

_TheAwesomeGil: YEP!_

Matthew logged off and stared at his computer for a bit. Tonight, he was going to the movies with his best friend. He didn't even remember what they were seeing but, that didn't matter to him anymore. With all the shit he had been dealing with, he just wanted a break from it all. This would be his break. This would be his day off.

The only reason that Matthew had agreed to let Gilbert pick him up was the fact that both Alfred and Francis were busy that night and wouldn't be able to say a thing about it. His brother and father meant well but, his father was the cause of many of his problems and his brother hated his best friend.

Another twinge of guilt came with the though. Matthew owed everything to his brother. He owed Alfred his sanity for Christ sake. Alfred never ignored him when he needed someone and his twin was always right there, always. He knew he shouldn't be hanging out with Gil behind his brothers back but, he just couldn't bring himself to care. Maybe, eventually, he wouldn't hide from his brother anymore. But, he didn't want to disappoint him.

At about 6:30 Matthew was standing outside of his house, waiting for Gilbert to pick him up. He saw the old, yet awesome mustang turning onto his street and smiled. That was Gil all right.

Gil pulled up to the house and smiled. There was his birdie, waiting for him so they could go to the movies together. If Gilbert didn't know any better, he would have thought that this sounded like a date. But, it was just two friends going out for a good time. Nothing more, nothing less.

Matthew got into the car and smiled, "Hey Gil!"

Gilbert smiled back, "Hey Birdie… you ready for an awesome night?"

"Of course I am Gilbert." Matthew knew that Gilbert couldn't possibly understand how much he needed tonight. He needed to get away from everything and Gilbert always made that easy.

"We need to hang out more often Mattie… this is the first time in… a long time that the two of us are doing shit."

Matthew hated that he knew Gilbert was right. They hardly ever got a chance to just hang out together and it really was a shame. Mattie loved the days when he and Gil used to be able to hang out all the time. That changed when his brother had shared his hatred of Gilbert with the world. That was when Matthew had decided to listen to his brother's opinion. That obviously held no bearing on his life right now.

Matthew smiled, "We really do Gil… it feels like we rarely see each other anymore."

"That has to change."

Matthew just smiled. They talked about random things and caught up while the entire way to the movie theater.

Gilbert may have been Matthew's best friend but, he knew nothing about Matthew's past. Of course, everyone knew the framework: he had lived through his parents divorce and now lived with his dad and brother, everyone feels bad for him. No one knew about the things associated with the divorce. No one knew about Matthew's secret pain and rule. He didn't trust anyone, not even Gil, enough to let them know about it.

Matthew shook off any thoughts as they parked at the theater. They both got out of the car and walked over to the ticket booth. "I'm paying," Gilbert declared when Matthew reached into his pocket to pull out his money.

"R-really?" Matthew was unsure.

Gilbert smirked, "The awesome me just has to pay for everything Birdie."

Matthew nodded and smiled, "Thanks Gilly… you might get some pancakes for that."

Gilbert beamed, "No payment necessary but, if you really want too, make it maple syrup too."

Matthew smiled, "Yes master."

Gilbert laughed as he paid for the tickets, "Wouldn't go that far Birdie… maybe just awesome person of awesomeness."

"But, that's longer," Matthew whined.

"Don't care."

They walked up to the counter inside and Gilbert purchased the popcorn, the two continuing the argument the entire time.

Gilbert led the way as they walked into their movie. It turns out; it was one of Alfred's romantic comedies that Gilbert had picked out for some reason. Matthew really didn't care what they were watching; it was nice to just be with his friend.

They took seats in the back because Matthew loved sitting in the back of a nearly empty movie theater.

Mattie and Gil only stopped their random banter when the movie started. It was one of those romantic comedies with a stereotypical plot:

Boy meets girl. Boy and Girl become best friends who do everything together. Boy falls for Girl. Girl doesn't realize it. Girl and Boy hang out more often. Girl starts to see a change in how Boy treats her. Boy starts to flirt and show how much he cares more often. Girl starts to feel the same about Boy but, won't admit it. Girl finally tells boy. Some more problems occur then, in the end, there's a happily ever after.

Matthew was only partially interested in the movie. About half way through, he got kinda tired and leaned his head on Gilbert's shoulder. He stayed like that for about half an hour before he finally sat back up and turned his attention back to the movie.

After the movie was over, Gilbert and Matthew walked out with similar smiles on their faces. Matthew wasn't sure if Gilbert had paid much attention to the actual movie either but, he had picked it.

Gilbert decided that he wasn't ready to let Matthew go home just yet. Instead, he took Mattie to the ice cream parlor that was just down the road. The got ice cream cones and then walked up and down the street for a while, just talking.

"We really do need to do this more often Mattie."

"Yeah, we do. I had a lot of fun."

"You ready to go home yet?"

"I've had a lot of work to do so I should be tired and ready to go. But, this is the most fun I've had in a week."

Just then, Mattie's phone rang. It was Alfred.

"_Hey Matt, watcha up to?"_

"Nothing Alfred… why are you calling me?" Matthew was annoyed by his brother's phone call.

"_Well, I'm getting off work in an hour and was wondering if you wanted to do something. Maybe catch a movie or something?"_

Matthew gulped. "Umm… actually I'm kinda tired."

"_On a Saturday night?"_

"Lots of work this week."

"_Alright, I'll see you when I get home then."_

Matthew sighed and looked at Gil. "I have to get home within the next hour so we should probably leave."

"What? Got a curfew or something?"

"My brother kinda hates you so he doesn't know where I am." Matthew admitted.

Gilbert laughed, "Aren't you an adult? He shouldn't be able to choose who you are with."

Matthew sighed. He knew that the other man couldn't possibly know what it felt like to be as indebted to your brother as Matthew was. "I know… it's just that I don't want to make him mad at me."

Gilbert sighed and turned in the direction of the car. "Alright… text or IM me later?"

"Of course," Matthew smiled.

They talked the entire way back to Mattie's house. They seemed to be able to talk to one another forever. The conversation never got stale or boring. It was bizarre.

Gilbert pulled up in Matthew's driveway and let the Canadian out of the car. "Night Mattie."

"Good Night Gilbert. I had fun tonight."

"SO did I Birdie." Gilbert smiled as he drove away.

Matthew walked into his house and into his room. He lay down in bed and stared at the ceiling until Alfred got home. The two talked for a while before Mattie really was starting to get tired. He fell asleep and for once, he didn't have a single nightmare.

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**AN: Longer chapter! I like this one… like a lot. It's the first one with a lot of PruCan goodness! **

**I wonder if Gilbert's choice in movies has anything to do with anything… hmmm?**

**Well, hope you guys review this! (And I just started another PruCan and a Gilbo advice column if you people are interested!)**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thanks to anyone that reviewed the last chapter! Apparently that one was a pretty popular one, I liked it anyway. Someone did mention the fact that the rule wasn't really hit upon and just be aware that I know. I was building up the relationship a bit before that really came into play. Hope that clears things up.**

**Please review because I really love reviews and Mattie will hug you if you review.**

**Also, I might be busy over the next few days so I'm sorry for any long update time. It's not intentional.

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Matthew woke up with a sigh. It had been a week since his day with Gilbert and since then he had been ridiculously busy. Work and dealing with his father had taken up a huge amount of time because Francis was being difficult.

Today was yet another world meeting and Matthew couldn't wait. He would be able to see his friend for the first time in a week and he was happy about that. Gil was one person who didn't make his rule painstakingly obvious. He wasn't part of the family which meant that he didn't make various memories appear.

Matthew got out of his bed and made his way downstairs. Alfred pestered him about making pancakes and Matthew figured that he'd be nice today and make pancakes for his brother and father.

After they ate, the three of them got into the car and Francis drove them to the meeting. The entire way, Matthew stared out the window, not sure what to think about what was going on in his life. Apparently, his father had seen Arthur twice since the last meeting and that made Matthew nervous. He didn't want his father anywhere near Arthur anymore. That part of their lives was done and had to remain gone forever.

As soon as he got out of the car, Matthew was attacked by a hug from Gilbert. "You're here Birdie!"

"Yeah, I always come to these. You, on the other hand never come. What's with the sudden interest Gil?"

"Well, now I have a reason," Gil answered cryptically.

Matthew sighed and decided it was probably in his best interest not to ask too many questions. He had learned that from knowing Gilbert for this long. If Gil didn't want you to know the truth, you weren't going to find out the truth.

Alfred glared at the Prussian as he hugged Mattie. "Mattie, can you go in and check with Ludwig to make sure the meeting is on time?" Al asked kindly.

"Sure bro." Matthew agreed, walking into the building.

Gilbert made a move to follow but, was stopped by Alfred, "You, I need to talk to you."

"What do you want America?" Gilbert scowled.

"You've been spending an awful lot of time with Matt."

"He's my friend so yeah." Gilbert was getting annoyed and impatient.

"Don't give me that bullshit." Alfred scoffed. "Mattie may be innocent and oblivious but, I'm not."

"What the hell are you talking about Alfred?"

"We all know what you want from my brother. You want to fuck him. You want to date him. Basically, you want Mattie." Alfred growled at the thought.

"And where did you find this out?" Gilbert asked.

"I just know Prussia. Everyone that isn't Mattie knows."

"And what if it's true. What if I fell in love with your brother?" Gilbert asked seriously.

"I'll kick your ass if you hurt him Beilschmidt. There are things about Mattie that you don't know. If you hurt him in any way, if you give him any trouble, I will hunt you down and kill you." Alfred was thinking of his brother's fears. He was thinking of his brother's one rule. He wasn't going to let some ex-nation come in and hurt his brother because of any of this.

Gilbert glared at Alfred, "Matt is my best friend. If you think that I'm going to hurt him, regardless of my feelings for him, you are deluded. Maybe I am in love with him but, that is my business and maybe his, not yours."

"It will become my business if you hurt him Gilbert." Alfred said simply before walking into the building.

Gilbert snarled. How dare that American fuck come in and tell him how he should treat his best friend. Alfred was right on several aspects of that but, he was dead wrong if he thought that Prussia was going to hurt Matthew. That was the furthest thing from the truth.

Gilbert walked into the room and took the place beside Matthew. "Sorry I took so long Birdie."

"Not a problem for me Gil but, your brother looks like he wants to kill you."

"Oh, that's the look bruder always gives me, don't worry about it love."

"Fine, I won't."

The two of them talked and went back and forth for the entire rest of the meeting. They earned themselves plenty of glares from Ludwig during the process. Ludwig hated it when people talked during these things. He took them far too seriously in Gil's mind.

At the very end of the meeting Gilbert grabbed Matthew's arm before he could walk away. "What would you say to hanging out with me all day today? Don't go home, just stay here and leave with me."

Matthew gulped and looked at his brother. Alfred would be really pissed. Then, he thought about how much he loved to just spend time with Gilbert. "Yeah, that would be cool."

Gilbert smiled, "Well, I'm usually the last one to leave so I just hang out here for a while."

"Cool, I might as well go tell Francis and Alfred so that they know what's going on."

"Go ahead Matt." Gilbert smiled.

Matthew walked up to where he had seen Francis last. When he got there, he saw not only Francis, but Arthur was there as well. To make things worse, they were laughing at some joke Francis had told and Arthur hugged Francis before leaving.

Matthew was rooted in place as he stared at his papa. "P-papa, w-what was that a-about?"

Francis jumped when he realized his son had witnessed that. "Oh, I was just talking to Arthur Mathieu, it was nothing big."

Matthew didn't believe his father but, decided it would be better just to tell him what he was doing instead of getting into this argument again. It would only upset him so it wouldn't be worth it. "Well, Papa, I'm not going home with you and A. I'll be spending the rest of the day with Gilbert, if that's alright."

"Of course, don't worry about your brother; I'll take care of him for you."

Matthew nodded, grateful.

Matthew and Gilbert joked around for a while as they waited for everyone else to leave. For some reason, Gilbert insisted that they should be the last ones to leave. When Matthew asked why, he had simply said, "Because we can."

The last of the nations trickled out and Matthew turned to Gilbert, "Alright, we're the last ones here."

Gilbert walked over to the table and turned to look at Mattie. Matthew walked over, completely confused as to what was happening.

"Interesting day huh?"

"Not really Gil, just an ordinary meeting."

"Not today, I meant last weekend."

"Oh," Matthew felt kind of stupid. "Yeah, that was very interesting."

"It was awesome."

Matthew was confused as to why they were discussing last weekend when they were hanging out today.

Gilbert glanced at Mattie before taking a step back from the table. Then, in on fluid motion, he grabbed Mattie and moved him so his back was to the table.

"W-what?" Matthew asked. He looked down and saw Gilbert's hands on the table on both sides of him. Gilbert had him trapped against the table.

Gilbert didn't say a word but, moved closer to the nervous and confused Canadian.

"W-what's going on Gilbert?" Matthew gulped. He was confused. This was completely unexpected and strange and he didn't know what was happening.

"Mattie, there's something I've been wanting to say for quite a while." Gilbert refused to break eye contact with the younger man.

"And that is?"

"Matthew, I've been falling in love with you for a while now. I think it started a few years ago actually. Last weekend was all it took for me to realize that now was the time to tell you." Gilbert waited for a response.

Matthew just stared at the older man in shock. His brain just couldn't process what he had heard. Gilbert was his friend, his best friend but, a friend nonetheless.

Gilbert leaned in slowly and kissed Matthew, waking the Canadians brain up.

Matthew pulled away, "No Gilbert."

Gilbert pulled back, looking slightly hurt. "What, why?"

"Because, you can't be in love with me. I can't be in love with you. This stuff doesn't happen, it just doesn't. We're friends, nothing more, nothing less. So we can't do this Gilbert. I can't because there's a rule and I can't." Matthew had started crying and rambling by that point.

Gilbert backed up to give Mattie some space; it was beginning to look like he'd need it.

Matthew tried to calm his thoughts down. Gilbert couldn't be falling in love with him. Gilbert couldn't love him because it just couldn't happen. Matthew couldn't be falling for Gilbert either. He had a rule, it was the one rule that he lived by. That rule was never fall in love, no matter what. He couldn't break it. He couldn't let Gilbert in and he couldn't even tell Gilbert any of this.

"I'm sorry Birdie. I should just go then, you don't seem to want to talk to me right now." Gilbert looked down at the ground.

"No, we can still hang out and stuff but, just not this, not love or anything more than friendship. Please Gil." Matthew begged.

"Alright, I promise that I won't say anything more right now," Gilbert was going to bring it up again but, first he was going to give the Canadian time. He was going to find out why the other man was freaking out so badly about this as well.

Matthew nodded, "Alright then, let's leave this place and go do stuff."

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**AN: and there's the end of another chapter. Ah, Gil, why must you be in love with little Mattie? That causes quite a few problems for the poor little guy. But, PruCan is what we love and so it must be! Even if Mattie doesn't want it to be!**

**I hope to get another update for this and other stories soon but, I may be busy for a few days. **

**Well please review and if you are awesome you should also read my other stuff!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Long time between updates…. Sorry about that one. Research paper for English said "NO WRITING FANFIC UNTIL YOU FINISH THIS PART!" So it got kinda hard to update. Well, I'm back in business once more with another chapter of One Rule… I've been coming out with quite a few new chapters for fics lately… I think that's a good sign.**

**Thanks to the one person that reviewed… I guess it wasn't that popular of a chapter or something… Oh well, I refuse to be dissuaded! Although, reviews make my day so you really should review it! And Mattie will hug you for it!

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Matthew walked into his house several hours later, his head spinning. Thoughts would not leave him be as he reviewed the day. It had been innocent enough at first. Just another meeting that didn't mean that much and would have passed without a hitch. Then, Gilbert had to go and screw everything up for him. Gilbert just had to tell him that… Mattie couldn't even think the words without feeling like he needed to lie down and cry.

This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't happen. There was no way that Gilbert, his best friend in the entire world, could possibly be in love with him. That was just too much. He couldn't be in love with Gilbert either. There was a rule. One very important rule that stated, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Granted, Gilbert did not know about that rule. The only person besides Matthew that did know was Alfred.

Matthew's thoughts started to run wild. _"Alfred, shit he can't find out about that… but, I need to tell him because I need to tell someone but, Alfred hates him and…" _his thoughts trailed off. He needed time and space. He needed to think about how to deal with the Gilbert thing.

After the confrontation in the conference room, the rest of the day had gone without a hitch. Gilbert stayed true to his promise to drop the conversation and they had a fun and easy day of hanging out. They even went to the arcade, which Mattie loved to do every now and then.

But, the meeting… Mattie's mind went back to that conversation in the conference room once more. Tears came to Mattie's eyes as he stood in the living room. He didn't want to deal with this. Not with his best friend. Not when his twin hated his best friend. Not when he was scared about his father and Arthur. Not when the rule was the most important. Not ever.

Alfred walked into the room and saw the tears in his brother's eyes. "Shit, Matt… What happened?"

Matthew didn't answer. He backed up and sat on the couch, refusing to make eye contact with his brother.

"Mattie… what happened? Did Beilschmidt do something to you? What is it bro? You don't have to hide anything from me." Alfred sat down next to his brother. By this point, he was pleading with the Canadian for answers. He was the hero; he couldn't let his brother be upset by anything. That was Alfred's spot in the world. That was his job in his brother's life. He was the hero who protected his twin brother from everything anytime he needed it.

Matthew looked up at his brother. "Don't want to talk about it. It wasn't Gil… not really… it's me."

Alfred was confused. "Mattie…"

Matthew stood up and walked over to the stairs. "Wait, Matt!" Alfred tried to stop him.

Matthew walked up to his room and locked the door. He lay down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. There was no way that he could talk to Alfred about this. Maybe, when he got his mind around all of the information, he could tell his brother what was happening.

It wasn't just the fact that he had issues with talking about all of this. It was also the fact that he didn't want to depend on his brother anymore. He didn't want Alfred to have to worry about him any longer. He didn't want to be saved by 'the hero' all the time. He was a mess and he knew it but, he didn't want to burden his twin with his problems any longer. For years, Matthew had sat back and let Alfred deal with everything for him. Now, Mattie didn't want to do that anymore. He wanted to deal with his problems himself.

Matthew's thoughts were interrupted when his phone vibrated. He looked and saw that he had two unread messages.

The first said:

_Hey Mattie… what's going on? I know that u said u didn't wanna talk about it but, please tell me! I'm worried bout u bro! I no that it's not nothing like u say it is! U don't need 2 go throu it alone! I promise that I won't freak out or hurt Gilbert if he's even involved. Please!_

_~The Hero_

Mattie didn't respond to it. He didn't need Alfred's help this time. He looked at the second message.

_Hey Birdie… so I no that I said I would let the convo from earlier go but, I really want to say I'm sorry. I didn't think that u would freak out and I'm sorry if it was my fault. U being upset was totally unawesome. If u want to talk about it or anything that's bothering u, I'll listen. _

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew shook his head when he read it. He didn't think he could talk to the obnoxious Prussian about anything right now. He didn't even think he could look at the other man without feeling like he was going to cry. He needed time to think and maybe, eventually, he would talk to Prussia and tell him about his rule and explain all of his problems. Right now, the chances of that were looking really slim.

He typed up a quick response.

_Don't be sorry Gil… I just freaked out. I don't feel like talking about anything right now. Maybe, maybe at some other time but, just let it go._

_~MWilliams_

Matthew decided to leave it at that and just sleep. He couldn't fall asleep for at least three hours though. His mind refused to turn itself off. He just sat there, waiting for the sleep to come.

When he finally fell asleep, the nightmares came. They weren't the usual ones though….

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**AN: … How you guys like that cliffhanger ending? I personally love it! I hope you guys like this chapter. I personally like it quite a bit and I'm happy with how it turned out! **

**Please review and whatnot!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Yay for cliffhangers that make me smile and I once again praise not having school for five days so that I can update like crazy before school becomes important again. **

**I love the way this story is going, definitely going the way I planned for once and that makes me happy. I'm also glad that the last chapter got a few reviews because reviews are awesome in every way and I love you all for giving them to me!**

**Please continue to review for Mattie hugs! (I have no idea why that's my incentive…)

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Mattie's dreams killed him in his sleep that night. They were terrible but, not the normal brand of terrible. These ones didn't involve his father and Arthur. They didn't even involve his brother. They did however; incorporate bits of his past into a current issue that he didn't want to think about when he was awake or asleep.

The dreams centered around Gilbert Beilschmidt and the issues that he brought to light. They involved the pain and fear that he had seen Francis go through with love but, in these dreams, he was Francis and Gilbert was Arthur.

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_Gilbert glanced at Mattie with a big sigh. "Seriously Birdie? What the hell are you going on about this fucking time?"_

"_Gil you don't need to curse at me. I'm not saying anything that isn't true. Yes, I love you and we both know it. No, I don't want to leave you. Yes, you are being a major ass right now." Matthew was almost in tears by that point,_

"_If you love me so damn much than my being an ass shouldn't fucking matter. It's you who are being a little asshole and being terrible in everything. You're exactly like fucking Arthur, aren't you?" Gilbert was being amazingly harsh and he knew it but, he didn't care at all._

"_Gilbert, I am not!" _

_Gilbert sighed. "You know Birdie; this just isn't worth my time anymore."_

"_What are you getting at Gil?" Matthew was mad but, he panicked at the thought of his lover leaving him._

_Gilbert took a step closer to Mattie and smacked him. "You fucking deserve that for being so fucking dense and not understanding any of this!"_

_Matthew recoiled. Gilbert had never hit him before this. He had always gotten mad and they yelled at each other but, Gilbert had never hit him. "Gi-Gil?" Mattie had tears running freely down his face by that point._

"_It's over." Gilbert walked out the door._

"_Gil, don't leave! Please don't leave me Gilbert! You can't do this"

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_

Matthew woke up with tears streaming down his face. He couldn't be sitting here and dreaming of this. That meant that he actually cared about Gilbert as well. He wouldn't fall in love with him though. Maybe, if he happened to tell Gilbert about his fears, the Prussian would understand and give up on any thoughts of a relationship forever.

Right now, Mattie needed some solace or consolation that it was just a nightmare though. He turned on his computer and logged into MSN, looking for Gilbert to be online. Luckily, the Prussian didn't sleep very much so he was.

_MWilliams: hey, Gil… _

_TheAwesomeGil: Y r u up so late?_

_MWilliams: Nightmares… woke me up now I can't go back 2 sleep._

_TheAwesomeGil: wanna talk about it?_

_MWilliams: …idk_

_TheAwesomeGil: U alright?_

_TheAwesomeGil: Mattie… what's up? Don't lie to me & say that it's nothing._

_MWilliams: I don't think I can talk about it Gil…._

_TheAwesomeGil: u sure?_

_MWilliams: I don't want 2 talk 2 al though. He always helps me out of bad stuff and I can't rely on him anymore… I need to think 4 myself._

_TheAwesomeGil: What's this all about? :(_

_MWilliams: lots of stuff that I never told u about…_

_TheAwesomeGil: Will u tell me?_

_MWilliams: not sure…_

_TheAwesomeGil: I won't think any different of u birdie…regardless of what it's about_

_MWilliams: yeah…_

_TheAwesomeGil: I promise_

_MWilliams: ?_

_TheAwesomeGil: I promise that no matter what I'll be right here for u… I never make a promise that I can't keep._

_MWilliams: … well thanks for the convo… I think I'm gonna go back 2 sleep._

_TheAwesomeGil: alright Birdie… talk to me soon please… night_

Matthew signed off and felt like crying. He knew that talking to Gil would be good for him but, he didn't want to rely on Gil any more than he wanted to rely on Alfred. He wanted to be able to think for himself and make his own decisions. He knew what that decision would be. He would choose to listen to his rule forever and maybe end up all alone.

He jumped as his phone vibrated.

_Hey bro… u alright? I want to talk to u if ur up._

_~The Hero_

He replied:]

_Nightmare… nothing big. Yeah, come on in and we'll talk._

_~MWilliams_

Alfred walked into the room and sat next to his twin sibling. "Hey Mattie… you've been really quiet recently."

"Yeah… there's a lot going on right now Al."

"You want to tell me?"

"Not really…" Matthew paused. "Al… I can't rely on you for help all the time anymore. You've always been my hero and helped me with everything but, I don't think it's good for me to make all of my decisions based on what you think of it."

Alfred sighed. He knew that this day would come. He knew that eventually his brother would decide that he didn't need his hero and could make his own decisions on his own terms. "I understand. You can still tell me about it though."

"Not right now Al…"

"Well, I've got something to talk to you about anyway bro."

"What's that?"

Alfred paused. This was going to be a rough conversation to have with his brother. He knew how scared Mattie was of getting close to people. He knew how much stock Mattie put into his one rule. "I think you should consider going against that rule of your Mattie. Don't get yourself hurt but, I think that you're lonely and need someone."

Matthew recoiled. "What the hell Al? After everything we've been through and everything we've seen? You want me to go against all of that!"

Alfred had expected that reaction. "Well, there's someone who I know really cares about you. I hate the guy but, I think that maybe you should go for it. I think we both know who I'm talking about. I'm gonna watch him and dif he hurts you I'll kill him but, maybe you should consider."

Mattie knew exactly who Alfred was talking about. He hated to think about that. "No… I don't think I can. I don't see you breaking the rule."

Alfred got fidgety. "I am… I'm dating Kiku…"

"You're what?"

"I know… but, I started dating Kiku about a week ago… maybe it'll be good for you but, you should make your own choice. I just wanted to make you think about it." With that, Alfred left the room.

Matthew lay down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. His brother was telling him to consider going out with Gilbert. Alfred hated Gil and they fought constantly… that must mean something then. And Al was already breaking the rule with Kiku and that was not something that Matthew liked to hear.

He decided that he would consider telling Gilbert about all of it. He wouldn't go out with him though. He would not break the only rule that existed in his own world.

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**AN: I know that it's a lot of talking and not much actually happening but, I like the chapter. It's a turning point for Mattie. He's not relying on his brother anymore. It's also a big moment for Al.**

**Al and Kiku… for some reason I do like that couple quite a bit. **

**Well, please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: So this is yet another chapter! School has returned which means the updates just got a bit slower but, I still prevail because I am awesome (not as awesome as Gilbert but, that's nearly impossible)**

**Thanks to the few people that reviewed this. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who liked the last chapter for some strange reason. I love writing this fic so much! I'm hope that my updates are getting better as well because I hate waiting a week before reading a fic that I like so I try not to make people wait to long for my fics.**

**Please review because Mattie loves reviews and he gives hugs for them all the time!

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Matthew walked down the stairs with a sigh. He had been avoiding his brother for the past two days. Ever since he had found out that his brother had broken the sacred rule, he didn't feel like being anywhere near him. The problem was this was a meeting day so he didn't have much of a choice. Making things worse, Kiku would be at the meeting and so would Gilbert.

Matthew wished that he had an excuse to miss the meeting but, he didn't so he had to go to the damn thing and hope for the best. He didn't want to encounter his brother and Kiku. The very idea of his brother in a relationship made him sick. He didn't want Alfred to get hurt but, that's what love meant. Love meant letting someone close and then hurting when they left you broken.

To make things worse, Gilbert had been texting Mattie really often. He kept asking the Canadian what was wrong and kept telling him that he wanted to know so he could help in some way. He appreciated the concern but, it was too much right now.

Maybe, he should confide in Gilbert. He knew about the other mans feelings for him but, Gilbert was still Mattie's best friend so it shouldn't be too far fetched to want to talk to him about anything that's bothering him. Maybe he would tell the Prussian so that he could get it off his chest to someone that wasn't his twin brother.

Oh, he knew Alfred's opinions on the Gilbert thing now. His brother wanted him to go for a relationship with Gilbert. There was no way in hell that would ever happen to him. He would not fall for his best friend and he would not get in a relationship with his best friend. Friendship, that was as far as it got.

Matthew made it to the kitchen and sat down on the side opposite from Alfred. He ate in silence, his father watching the two with apprehension the entire meal.

Francis hated seeing his sons not talking to one another. That was not how things normally were in this house. Yes, they were siblings and therefore fought from time to time. No, they didn't sit in silence and ignore each other for no apparent reason. He wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that he had begun talking to Arthur again. He really hoped it didn't.

After breakfast, the three silent family members got in the car and headed to the meeting.

"Are you boys alright?" Francis ventured.

Matthew shook his head. "Not really." He shot a glare in his brother's direction.

"What happened?"

"Ask him." Matthew pointed at Alfred.

"Matthew I didn't do anything wrong so stop acting like I did. Just because you can't take my advice doesn't mean that I did something wrong." Alfred argued.

"You know exactly what you did." Matthew retorted.

The car fell into silence again and Francis sighed. Whatever was bothering his boys was bad. That much was easy for him to tell.

They got to the meeting and Matthew caught Gilbert's eye. Instead of sitting next to the Prussian, he sat down next to the one person that he didn't want to talk to but, needed to talk to. He sat next to his twin brother. Of course, it was partially to ensure that Kiku would not sit next to Alfred.

Halfway through the meeting, the whispers started.

"Why aren't you sitting next to Gilbert?" Alfred asked.

"I'm watching my idiot of a twin." Matthew answered.

They stopped talking and Matthew felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and saw that he had a new text message.

_From: Gil_

_Whats wrong? U didn't sit w/ me. R u mad or something? _

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew replied.

_From: Mattie_

_Not mad at u… mad at and watching someone else at the moment. Sorry that u thought I was mad at you. Nothing personal Gil. _

_~MWilliams_

He got a reply rather quickly.

_From: Gil_

_U alright though?_

_~TheAwesomeGil_

Matthew started to respond but, didn't get the chance to because his brother started whispering in his ear once more. "Mattie… can you please go sit next to Gil so that Kiku can sit here? Either that or stop ignoring me…"

Matthew snapped but, kept his whispered tone. "No I can't go so your fucking boyfriend can sit here. And no, I won't stop ignoring you."

"Why are you being such an ass Mattie?"

Matthew wasn't whispering anymore. Rather, he was talking loudly, causing everyone to watch the argument as it developed. "You know damn well why I'm being an ass America!"

Alfred was stunned. His sigh and quiet twin brother had just called him by his nation name rather than his human name. They never referred to one another by the nation names. To them, they were brothers and didn't have to worry about the complications of being nations getting in between them. To them, the nation names had no importance or bearing whatsoever.

"Matthew Williams, why do you have such a big problem with my choice? It's my choice and one that you should consider making so you don't end up lonely forever!" Alfred yelled back.

"Alfred, you broke the rule. You broke the one and only rule without even talking about it with me first. With everything we've been through, you still feel the need to do this shit!"

"I broke the rule because I realized that living in fear was no way to live Matthew. You need to realize that as well. I know about all the shit we've been through but, we need to learn to live with it and learn from it without being lonely forever." Alfred wanted to get the message to his twin in any way he could.

"You're an idiot! The rule is the only thing that could possibly protect you. You risk everything when you break and I don't want you to get hurt. I am learning from my past. You're the one that's ignoring it." Matthew slammed his fist on the table.

"Matthew… I'm not the one that's hurting from all of this. I know what we've been through and I feel the pain every day but, I learned how to live with it. Sometimes, the risk is worth it anyway. Please Mattie; you're the one that's really hurting. You're the one that was always really hurting and scared." Alfred said this in a calmer tone.

"You don't know what you're talking about Alfred. I am fine because I'm not breaking a rule that could save me." Matthew had had enough.

He stormed out of the room. He continued on out of the building, tears streaming down his face as he walked. He walked all the way to the closest park and paced around, trying to stop the tears.

Matthew could only imagine what the others at the meeting thought about his outburst. It was insane because all of it was true. Alfred might have been right but, Matthew refused to let himself see it that way. The text he got next made everything worse.

_From: Al_

_Bro, I no ur pissed at me and have every right to b but, I found something out that I need 2 tell u about. I no ur not gonna like this but I can't not tell u cause u have every right 2 no._

_Here goes… it's about dad. _

_Well, dad and Arthur… I saw them talking and I asked dad and well… they're back together. They're trying a relationship again… sorry to tell u bro… u want 2 talk bout it?_

_~The Hero_

Matthew felt his chest tighten and his tears become uncontrollable. There was no way in hell that his father would get back with Arthur. The sad part was he knew that it was true regardless of how much he wanted it to be a lie.

Matthew's knees gave out and he collapsed on the ground, the sobs wracking his body. There was no way in hell that any of this was happening. He wished that this was a dream but, he knew that it was reality. His world was crashing down around him.

He didn't hear the footsteps and didn't know anyone was following him until he felt himself brought back to his feet. He looked up and saw Gilbert's concerned gaze on him. "Birdie… what happened back there?"

Matthew couldn't form words and the tears just kept coming.

Gilbert saw that he wasn't getting anything from the Canadian and just sat there, holding Matthew close and hoping that he would calm down soon.

After a few minutes, Matthew was able to form words again and realized that Gilbert was holding him close. He quickly stepped away from the Prussian and looked at him. "S-sorry Gil…"

"Don't be sorry Birdie. Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

Matthew nodded; he might as well come clean. "It's a long story."

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**AN: End of chapter! I really like this one but, it makes me so sad to write! I might need to write fluff for Snapshots because of this! I love it though… not sure why.**

**I feel bad about making the twins fight but, it was necessary. I love Gilbert showing up at the end though.**

**I'm sure you all love my cliffhangeresque (not a word) ending. You must wait and review for it! (Evil laughter)**

**The plot bunnies have returned with an idea for a Hetalia high school thing that involves both PruCan and USUK… so should I do it? What do you guys think?**

**Also, taking request for Christmas fics! **

**Also, I included Fruk to make up for my depressing lack of Fruk in the past. **

**Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: It's the chapter that you've been waiting for since my last update. *waits for everyone to catch on to the joke* Got it? Good. **

**It is the chapter in which Gilbert learns some stuff about Matthew Williams that he would have never guessed. Should be a really fun one to write but, there will be a lot of dialogue in this chapter! Don't worry though. The action chapters will also be coming soon!**

**I have awesome reviewers once more. You really do spoil me. I'm glad that you like my cliffhangers. I'm also glad that they don't make you want to kill me! **

**Please review because Mattie hugs those that review!

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Gilbert watched Matthew as the Canadian stood up and began pacing.

"Gil… this really is a long story. It's not that easy for me to talk about either so please be patient. I'll try to tell it the best that I can."

Gilbert looked at Mattie. "Birdie, relax. I don't care how long the story is. Just calm down and tell it. I don't mind that it's hard to talk about either. You can take as long as you want to."

Matthew felt somewhat comforted by the Prussian's words. He sat down next to Gilbert and took a deep breath. This was his first time telling the story to anyone. The only person that he'd ever told any of this too was Alfred. That didn't really count as telling anyone though because Al already knew about all of it.

"Well, I guess I should start at the beginning." Matthew hesitated for a moment before going on. "You know that Francis and Arthur were married correct?"

Gilbert nodded, not sure where Mattie was going with this.

"Ok so Al and I lived with our two fathers for a long time. You see, they were married for quite a while. Anyway, we lived with them for a while and things were actually pretty amazing. We would spend a lot of time as a family. We went to picnics, the park, amusement parks, France, England, a lot of places really." Matthew stopped for a moment. He hadn't anticipated how hard it would be to remember the good times. He wasn't even at the hard part yet.

Gilbert smiled encouragingly. "That would be normal family stuff." He wouldn't really know much, considering that it was just him and his brother but, he knew some things about families.

Matthew nodded. "Normal family stuff. It was pretty awesome because everyone cared about one another. Francis really loved Arthur and vice versa. It was amazing to see as a child. But, after a few years…" He felt himself tearing up and couldn't quite finish the statement.

Gilbert sensed that they were getting to the real beginning of Matthew's story. He noticed the tears returning to the Canadian's eyes and contemplated what to do. From his experiences over the past few weeks, he knew that Mattie was not alright with Gilbert's feelings for the younger man. It wouldn't be a good idea to do what he wanted to do in that case. Instead he just put a hand on Mattie's shoulder and waited for him to continue.

"S-sorry. I d-didn't t-think it w-would be t-this hard." Matthew lied a bit there. He had known that it was going to be rough from the very beginning. He knew that just remembering these things was hard and that saying them was even harder.

"It's alright Birdie. Take a few deep breaths and go on."

Matthew nodded and did as he was told. "Well, after a few years of that amazing happiness, things started to go badly. Francis and Arthur started to fight all the time. Arthur started drinking and getting v-violent s-sometimes."

_"I'll do what I want. I didn't marry you so you could boss me around!" Arthur screamed the words. "I also don't want you here bitching at me. This might be why the kid won't talk to me."_

_Francis sighed. "Leave Mathieu out of this Arthur."_

_Arthur was fuming now. "He's my kid too but, won't even look in my direction. He never talks to me and he just sits in his room alone all day."_

_Francis sighed, this again. "You know as well as I do that Matthew isn't stupid. He knows about the fighting you idiot."_

_"I really don't care!" Arthur yelled._

The memory flashed through his mind.

_"How the hell do you know how I fucking feel? You love me… bullshit. You just love to boss me around all the fucking time. You act as if I was one of your children. That's Alfred and Matthew, not me." Arthur was getting louder._

_"Arthur calm down please." Francis had regained some of his composure._

_That was when Arthur threw the picture frame at Francis. _

Matthew could almost hear the sound of glass shattering at his feet.

Gilbert was talking to him but, he hadn't noticed a thing. "Matthew!"

Matthew was forced out of his memories and looked at Gilbert. Tears were streaming down his face.

"Shit. Birdie you can just stop there. I don't need to know anymore." Gilbert would say anything to make him stop crying.

Matthew shook his head. "I-I'm going to tell you all of it. Beginning to end."

Gilbert sighed. "Fine; what do you mean he got violent? Did he hurt you and Alfred?"

Matthew shook his head. "Not us. His words sometimes hurt like a bitch but, he never laid a hand on either of us. It was Papa who got all of the abuse. They would fight, Arthur would leave, and then he would come back and they would fight some more. I saw a few of them from under the staircase. They argued about lots of things. They even argued about me for a while."

Gilbert gasped. "I'm sorry Mattie. I can't imagine what all of that could have done to you."

Matthew laughed humorlessly. "Oh, we'll get to that part soon."

"Go on then."

"Well, they fought for a long time. I'm not sure if it was months or years. I think some of the worst parts were the ones that I witnessed. I heard Arthur say that he didn't care about me. He had been my father figure and I loved him but, he said he didn't care about me." Matthew felt all of the old emotions coming back up once more.

Gilbert shook his head. "That asshole! The worst part is that he was probably lying birdie."

Matthew shook his head again. "I'm pretty sure it was the truth Gil. I heard all of that and I saw my father cry in his room almost every night. I was there for the divorce and I saw what it did to papa. It pretty much killed him Gil. His love for Arthur hurt him for years to come."

Gilbert felt the true confession coming on. He couldn't believe that all of this could have happened. Every nation knew about the divorce but, apparently none of them knew about how it had happened. He felt so bad for Matthew. When he was just a child, all of this stuff must have destroyed him. Apparently it had some lasting effects on him as well.

"Love was what hurt my father. Love is what hurts everyone. In the weeks after the divorce, I made myself a promise. Alfred made this promise as well." Matthew paused. This was the part that Gilbert needed to hear the most.

"And the promise was?"

"I have one rule Gilbert. That one rule is: Never fall in love."

Gilbert sighed. He really should have seen something like this coming. The way Mattie had reacted when he confessed his feelings, which should have been a dead giveaway.

"The lasting effect." Gilbert whispered.

Matthew laughed without humor. "That would be a good way to describe it. I have lived my entire life without once breaking this rule. I have never been in a relationship and I have never wanted to be." _Until now, I never even considered it a possibility. _He added on the last part in his head.

Gilbert nodded. It all made sense now. "What about Alfred? You said he kept the promise as well."

Matthew chuckled darkly. "Yea… he's so fucking good at keeping his fucking promises."

"Something to do with the fight today?"

"It has everything to do with the fight Gilbert. He broke the rule. He broke the rule and never once told me that he even considered it. He didn't ask me first. He just decided to break the rule and go out with Kiku." Matthew was pissed and it showed. Why shouldn't he be? He had every right to be mad at his brother. "And then he had the audacity to say that I should consider breaking the rule. He said that he didn't want me to be lonely anymore. According to him, I need someone. That's bullshit. He even said that he knew someone and I don't even want to go into that!" Matthew couldn't hide the angry tears anymore.

Gilbert was shocked. For once, he found himself agreeing with Alfred. The way he saw it, Matthew was hurting from his past. He was lonely because he was afraid of getting hurt. He needed someone but, would never admit it. Alfred knew someone that cared enough to help Mattie and Gilbert knew exactly who he was referring to.

"Mattie… maybe Al was right this time."

Matthew looked as if he had been hurt. "What the hell? How could you agree with him on this? I don't need anyone."

"Well, you are sitting here and pouring your heart out to me because you need someone to listen. You may not be lonely now but, some day you might be. I don't think what he did was right. He should have told you first. But, I think he might have been right in what he said."

"Gilbert… I'm talking to you because I trust you and even trusting someone this much is hard for me. I'm talking to you because you care enough to listen. I'm talking to you because you are the person that I'm closest to besides my brother. It has nothing to do with needing someone." Matthew argued. _And I won't be lonely later on. I'm already lonely. And I even thought that maybe I could bend the rule a bit… I won't do it though, _he thought.

"Birdie…" Gilbert couldn't even finish the sentence. There was just too much pain behind the Canadian's eyes.

"There's something else to." Matthew whispered.

"What happened?"

"Alfred texted me. H-he s-said that F-Francis…" Matthew stopped to take a breath. "F-Francis and Arthur are t-together again!" He erupted into tears on the spot.

"Shit," Gilbert muttered. He got closer to the Canadian and forced Matthew to look into his eyes. "Relax Birdie. You can cry all you want but, don't fall into yourself. Don't block me out Birdie." He saw the signs of Mattie going back to being silent about everything. He saw the signs of a complete withdrawal.

"S-sorry g-Gil…" Matthew whimpered. "They can't do this!"

Gilbert felt tears coming to his own eyes just watching the younger nation. "No, they really shouldn't. It's their choice though. If anyone gets hurt, it doesn't affect you. Maybe, maybe they just realized that love is worth it. Maybe they realized that it wouldn't go away." He whispered the last part and wasn't sure if Mattie heard it.

Matthew buried his head in Gilbert's chest. He definitely heard every word of that. There was no way it was the truth though. "I-I don't know Gil."

"I know Mattie."

The two lapsed into silence for a while.

After about fifteen minutes, Matthew stood up. His face still bore the signs of tears but, otherwise he had pulled himself together. "Gil… I think I should go home now."

Gilbert nodded. "Sure, I'll give you a ride."

Matthew nodded and followed Gil to the car. Once inside, Matthew felt the need to say something to Gil. "I need to tell you something."

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry Gilbert. You really are the best friend that I could ever dream of having. I never really told you anything before but, you were still willing to listen. Besides all that, I can't be in love with you and you can't be in love with me. It just can't happen. Now you know why. Even if I could let you in, I would just be too much baggage for you." Matthew confessed.

"Shut up Mattie." Gilbert said simply. "We are at your house and no matter what you say… I'll love you all the same. It doesn't matter to me if the feelings are mutual. I'm fine just being your friend. Now get inside and get some sleep. If you have problems sleeping or want to talk, you have my number and MSN."

Matthew was about to argue but, instead he nodded and got out of the car. "Goodnight Gilbert."

Gilbert chuckled. "It's not quite night yet Birdie."

Matthew smiled. "But, you said to get to sleep."

"I meant tonight; although, it's not a bad idea for you to get to bed early."

"It really isn't Gil." Matthew was surprised to fine that it was easy for him to laugh. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Birdie." Gilbert watched Matthew walk into the house. "Sweet dreams."

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**AN: LONG chapter! Lots of dialogue as well. I hope you liked it though. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It made me sad but, I love the very end. **

**Much more to go! Hope you enjoyed it! If you want to request a Christmas fic, let me know! Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So winter break starts which means I will be updating more for the next few weeks. I'm happy to say that tomorrow I have a few Christmas one shots going up (can't upload on Christmas but, Christmas eve is close enough). **

**I'm so happy that the last chapter was received well. I thought that too much dialogue might make you guys unhappy with the chapter but, I guess I was wrong. Coming up, there are a few chapters that I've been waiting to write but, I don't want to because they ummm… well they… you'll see.**

**Please continue to review! I love reviews and Mattie hugs you for them!

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Matthew woke up the next morning, completely shocked that he had slept through the night.

When Mattie got home the day before, he had gone into the kitchen and talked to Alfred a bit. He didn't want to but, he found it necessary. He told his brother what he thought. He told his brother that he didn't want to depend on him any longer. He told his brother that the camping trip that they had planned for the weekend was still on.

After that, Matthew went upstairs and fell asleep almost immediately. He saw the fact that he had managed to avoid Francis while he was home as a complete success. He may be willing to speak to his brother but, he was not willing to speak to his father. Alfred broke the rule but Francis got back with Arthur. Which one was worse?

Mattie sighed as he rolled out of bed. He knew that he should get online and tell Gilbert that he managed to sleep and whatnot. It was strange that he was trusting Gil to this extent. He didn't trust people but, his best friend seemed to be an exception to that reality.

He logged on and was surprised to see that Gilbert was online. Did the albino ever sleep?

_MWilliams: Hey Gil_

_TheAwesomeGil: Hey Birdie… how'd u sleep?_

_MWilliams: I actually slept the whole night_

_TheAwesomeGil: Sweet! Glad to hear it_

_MWilliams: _

_TheAwesomeGil: How r things w/ Al?_

_MWilliams: talked to him a bit last night… not much change… just don't want 2 b mad at him for long._

_TheAwesomeGil: he deserves it_

_MWilliams: I know that _

_TheAwesomeGil: What about Francis?_

_MWilliams: refuse to speak to him_

_TheAwesomeGil: ur gonna have to at some point._

_MWilliams: I know that…I guess I'll talk 2 him if I run into him today or tomorrow_

_TheAwesomeGil: Good… wanna hang out soon?_

_MWilliams: When?_

_TheAwesomeGil: this weekend?_

_MWilliams: can't_

_TheAwesomeGil: y?_

_MWilliams: goin camping w/ Al this weekend._

_TheAwesomeGil: rnt u still mad?_

_MWilliams: Yea… still not gonna cancel annual camping trip._

_TheAwesomeGil: K… Tuesday work?_

_MWilliams: Yea… I'm gonna get food… text u later?_

_TheAwesomeGil: K Birdie_

Matthew logged off. It was nice to know that, after spending the weekend with Alfred, he would be able to see his best friend again. It was always fun to hang out with Gilbert. It was even better when Alfred wasn't around to bother them. He had to make sure that Alfred wouldn't be around.

Matthew walked down stairs to find food and saw his father sitting at the kitchen table.

"Mathieu! I didn't see you come in last night!" Francis exclaimed.

Matthew snorted. "Of course not."

Francis sighed. "I saw you and Al fighting… what happened Mon Cher?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about. Instead, why don't you focus on what you did."

"What do you mean?"

Matthew chuckled darkly. "You and Arthur happy now?"

Francis groaned. "Mathieu, you don't understand."

"Then explain it to me papa! Why would you go back with him? I know how much he hurt you all those years ago. Why would you trust him again? Why would you do this to me and Al? Why, Papa?" Matthew fought the tears to the best of his ability.

Francis sighed. "Do you really want the answers Mon Petite Mathieu?"

"Yes Papa, I do want the answers."

"And if you don't like the answer?"

"I'll deal with it. I've been dealing with things that I don't like for years."

"I'll tell you but, you won't like what I have to say."

"Tell me anyway."

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**AN: End of a short chapter. This is really just a "bridge between two important chapters" chapter. I hope I managed to at least make it somewhat interesting. **

**Next chapter, hear Francis' side of the story. After that, things get a bit heated and dramatic… those are the chapters that it pains me to write but, I will prevail!**

**Please review!**


	12. Update

AN: So this is just a bit of an update on what's going on. My computer crashed so I haven't been able to do anything related to fanfic at all. Thankfully, I'm back up and running and should be posting new chapters up this week. I apologize for taking so long but, it is an unavoidable problem. I promise that new stuff is coming soon! Don't doubt me when I tell you that! Frenchfry loves her readers and reviewers so much and would not purposefully disappoint them with a lack of any updating at all! I will be back soon to post new stuff!

~FrenchFry


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Computer problems and school and writers block and all of that not fun stuff had me putting off my updates for very long periods of time. I'm back though. I plan to update at least 2-3 stories a week and so it will probably (hopefully) be a lot more frequent. I'm sorry that it took me so very long to get back to writing all of this but, I am back now. **

**As for my reviews, I seriously love you guys so very much. I really hope that you guys like this chapter as well because you deserve an awesome one for waiting so long. I promise that I made it as awesome as I possibly can for you!**

**Please review because reviews are awesome and make me smile. Also, you get Mattie hugs. **

"Papa… please tell me what's going on." Matthew repeated himself after the room had fell into silence for a few minutes.

"Mathieu, I never wanted any of this to hurt you and Alfred." Francis explained.

"I know that."

Francis sighed and shook his head. He knew that it was time for him to finally talk to Matthew about everything that had happened over the years. It wasn't going to be an easy story to tell and his son probably wouldn't like to hear it. That was just too bad. Matthew needed to know why Francis made the decision to be with Arthur again. He needed to know that his father never wanted to hurt him or his brother.

"Mathieu, how much do you know about what happened all of those years ago?"

Matthew stared at his father. Did Francis really want him to explain the details that he had worked so hard to ignore? "Papa… I know a lot about what happened. I know that you fought all the time. I know that Arthur was a drunk at times. I know that he hated me and Alfred. I know that you used to cry every night. I know that love hurt you more than hate ever could." Matthew started to cry but, he made sure that he hid that from his father.

"I'm sorry that you heard all of that mon cher. I wish that I could have saved you from that." Francis spoke quietly.

"Just tell me papa."

"Fine," Francis thought about how to begin. "This whole story starts way before I got back together with Arthur. It starts before you were even here. It started so very long ago."

Matthew sat quietly and waited for his father to continue.

"Love doesn't come when it's convenient for you. Love works on its own time and in its own way. I met Angleterre a very long time ago. At first, it wasn't perfect. We were barely friends. We didn't agree on anything and we fought constantly. Over time, friendship emerged and from that, love appeared. When we realized that we loved each other it was hard. Arthur didn't want to believe in l'amour. Of course, as time went on, he changed his opinion. We had the type of love that didn't go away. We had the type of love that lasted forever."

"Papa, what happened to that?" Matthew already knew the answer. Love just didn't work. Love made you weak; love made it easier for people to hurt and take advantage of you.

Francis sighed. "When you and Alfred came around, we had a really nice family. Do you still remember that?"

Matthew stifled the tears that came along with the memories. "Yes."

"I'm glad that you remember the good as well as the bad. We had a lot of good times as a family back then. It was nice." Francis smiled at the memories that popped into his head. "There is something that you must know before I continue. Arthur loved you. He still loves you. That was not something that changed over time."

Matthew shook his head. "You don't need to lie on his behalf. I heard him say it."

Francis looked at his son sadly. "He was angry, that's all that comment was."

Matthew let the tears come then. He knew that Arthur hated both him and his brother more than Francis could imagine. Matthew didn't really care. He hated Arthur just as much, if not more.

"Maybe I should stop."

"No." Matthew asserted. "Keep going. I want to know all of it."

"Fine." Francis collected his thoughts. "After a few years, things started to go very bad. Arthur and I fought all of the time. He took up drinking again and sometimes, he got violent. It was not a good situation. I will be honest with you now mon petite. I was hurting. Every single time that Arthur hit me or yelled at me, I broke a little bit more. I pretended to be strong for you and your brother but, the truth was that I was a mess. I couldn't function. I also couldn't leave him. I loved him far too much to just let go with a fight."

"Papa, I know that you were hurt. I know that Arthur did terrible things to you."

"That's what you have trouble understanding. I did things to him as well. I said things that I shouldn't have said. Both of us were hurt."

Matthew snapped. "Nothing you did would have fucking hurt him. I saw what that shit did to you! I saw you cry every single night. I know what love does to people."

Francis stared at his son for a moment. "Mathieu, I know that he was the worst but I am not innocent in this. The pain love causes goes in both directions."

"Just tell me the rest of it."

"If you wish. After a long time of constant fights I knew that something had to change. I asked Arthur for a divorce because it was too much for me. He didn't want it. He said that he still loved me and I asked if love even matters anymore. I shouldn't have said that. The only reason that I hurt so badly after all of this was because I loved and missed the man that I had lost. I couldn't take the fact that he was gone. I ended things and was miserable because of it."

Matthew felt like all of his fears about love were just confirmed. His father had been hurt because he had let himself fall for someone and then that person hurt him. All love did was make people hurt each other more than anything else could ever possibly do. "Why are you together now?"

"The thing is, love doesn't die. You can't make yourself stop loving someone if it is true. L'amour always wins in the end. Over the years, I got better. I got over him and I could live again. Of course, seeing him at the world meetings tore me apart but, that was expected. I loved him still. I still do. Nothing about that has changed. We started talking again recently and I realized how much I still loved him. I believe that people deserve a second chance and I love him to much to give up on him. We discussed our past and our feelings and found out that both of us wanted to try again. We promised that we wouldn't lose it this time."

"And you trusted him? He destroyed you! He hurt you and me and Alfred! How could you let him back in? Did you ever think about us?" Matthew couldn't comprehend his father's choice.

Francis was somewhat exasperated. "Please understand Mathieu. If he messes up this time, I promise that I will never go back to him but, I can't love anyone else like I love him. I do trust him. I will always trust that man. I did think about you. I almost didn't do this but, I knew that I couldn't let you rule my life. You are not a child anymore mon cher. You are an adult and I will treat you that way."

"Papa, I'm sorry." Matthew realized that it had sounded a bit like a whiny and jealous child. "Love doesn't seem all that great. It seems as though it always ends in pain."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! You proved that to me just now. All love does is get you hurt. It's better off if you never fall for anyone. I promise that I will never fall in love."

"Mathieu, you are going to regret that. You won't always be able to keep that promise." Francis tried to reason with his son.

"I will father." Matthew knew that he would.

Francis felt a twinge of pain. Mattie never called him 'father.' "Mathieu, you never know what will happen in life."

"I do papa."

"No you don't. I never thought that I'd have the most amazing children in the world but, I got them."

"I won't make your mistakes." Matthew whispered before walking out of the room.

"Matthew!" Francis called to him but, he had already walked outside.

**AN: Pretty long chapter! I like this one. It is a lot of dialogue but, I like it all the same. I hope you do too!**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I hope my updates are getting better! I know they're not but, I like to hope for things that don't exist sometimes because then I can imagine stuff and just let me be…. Now that the ramble is done and over with kind of…**

**As for my readers… you guys and your reviews make me smile. Tadderdemalion: I am most definitely not using Francis' situation as the ideal situation at all… quite the contrary… I am using it as a contrast.**

**Please continue to review for Matttie hugs!**

Matthew got outside and ran away from the house, as far away as he possibly could get. He didn't need to be in the same hemisphere as his father, let alone the same house as him. He didn't want to be there and he wouldn't be.

Matthew made it to the park that was five blocks away from his house before he collapsed on a bench. He was in tears before he knew it. His father was wrong, that's all there was to it. Keeping his head down, he sat on the bench, contemplating the things he heard from his father and brother. It just wasn't right for them to expect him to let himself fall in love. It was a ridiculous notion that they just had to let go of.

Just then, Matthew realized that he needed to talk to his best friend about his. Gilbert may have said that he had feeling for Matthew but, first and foremost, Gilbert was his friend. Matthew pulled out his phone and sent a quick text.

_Hey Gil,_

_I kinda need to talk to you bout some stuff…_

_~Matthew Williams_

The response came incredibly fast.

_Matt… what's going on? Talk all you want._

_~TheAwesomeGil_

_I just talked to my dad about some stuff… I don't know what to do Gil… I don't know what to think… this is driving me crazy and I don't know who else to turn to right now._

_~Matthew Williams_

_Where are you?_

_~TheAwesomeGil_

_In the park near my house… why?_

_~Matthew Williams_

There was no response. Matthew sighed and stared at his phone as the tears returned. Even Gil wasn't talking to him right now, he had no idea how to handle that information; Gil was always there for him. That's why Gil was his best friend; he was just always there no matter what else was going on. That's why Gil was the first person he thought to text when he had a problem.

Matthew leaned back against the bench and stared up at the bright blue sky while tears continued to fall down his face. He hated this, all of it. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want to be upset, and he didn't want to be mad at his father and brother. They were his favorite people in the whole world but, lately they seemed to have lost their minds.

He stayed on the bench for a total of ten minutes before he felt someone sit down on the bench next to him. "So Birdie, what happened?" an all too familiar voice asked.

Matthew turned around quickly and saw his best friend looking back at him. "G-Gil, you're here!"

"Of course I am why are you so surprised to see me here? No faith in the awesome?" Gil smiled.

"N-No I have p-plenty of faith…" Matthew wondered why Gil could make him feel so nervous and awkward so easily there was no way that was normal.

Gilbert sighed a bit before turning and catching Matthew's violet eyes. "What happened Birdie?"

Matthew sighed but, decided that he might as well tell his best friend everything because that was what he had planned to do in the first place. "Well, I talked to my dad about him and Arthur being back together after all of these years. He told me about everything that happened when I was a child, every single painful detail about how perfect things were and how bad and painful things got. He told me about the fights and the drinking and the crying. He told me that love survived through all of that. He told me that he still loved the fucker regardless of what had been done to him. He tried to convince me that love was worthwhile, just like Alfred tried to do." The tears were coming fast and hard, he couldn't deal with this right now.

Gilbert wrapped his arms around Matthew and pulled him in close. "I'm so sorry Birdie."

"Papa just showed me that I was right. Love isn't worth all of that pain Gilbert."

"It's alright Birdie. You're too awesome to let other people make you cry," Gilbert whispered comfortingly. "Francis isn't right though. You don't stay with someone who hurt you like that; you move on and find someone else, someone that won't hurt you. Love does hurt but, not like that. People will hurt you but, if they do that, they're just not worth it Birdie. Alfred is right you know. If you find someone who cares and won't hurt you, a relationship is alright."

Matthew pulled away. "Gilbert, I can't buy into that."

Gilbert sighed. "I wouldn't hurt you Birdie," he whispered.

Matthew pretended that he hadn't heard that last part, he didn't want to hear that last part because it meant that Gilbert had those feelings for him. Instead, he leaned closer to Gilbert and let his best friends comfort him. "I don't believe them Gil. I won't get hurt."

Gilbert just nodded. He wouldn't let Matthew do this to himself; he wouldn't let Matthew get hurt by anything. He would protect his Birdie no matter what, even if his Birdie didn't want to be his. He wouldn't let Matthew cry.

They sat like that for an hour before Matthew sat up. "I-I think I should go home now. Francis is probably worried about me."

"Are you ok? Done crying?" Gilbert asked. He wouldn't let Mattie leave if he wasn't up to it.

Matthew laughed and pushed Gilbert away. "I'm fine, see. Besides, I have to talk to Al about that camping trip that we're taking. We're leaving tomorrow you know."

"Still only a phone call away Mattie."

Matthew laughed again. "I know that Gilbert. I'm going home now though."

Gilbert nodded and stood up. "Go ahead then."

Matthew smiled before he walked back towards his house. As soon as he was out of Gilbert's sight, he stopped walking and looked down at the ground with tears in his eyes. He was a pretty good liar but, Gilbert was very helpful. He didn't want to scream and cry and throw a tantrum while screaming at his father anymore. That was good.

Matthew walked into his house with a smile on his face a few minutes later. "Hey Al! We need to talk about tomorrow."

**AN: Done with Chapter! **


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I disappeared… for a long time actually… and I apologize for that. As Gilbert would say "definitely not awesome." I could give a long list of excuses but, I don't feel like I need to. Just know that I'm back to updating as frequently as school allows me too. **

**As for the last chapter… plenty of reviews… I adore you dear readers. You really make me want to continue these fics after even as long of an absence as I had! You are the very best people out there!**

**Please review! Reviews get you Mattie hugs and I know how much you want those!**

Francis stood outside with his two boys and smiled. "Have lots of fun! Make sure to be safe!"

Alfred and Matthew exchanged a glance. Alfred was the one to respond, "Don't worry dad, we'll be fine. If anything happens I'll be sure to be the hero and protect my brother."

Matthew just chuckled at the comment and waved goodbye to his dad as they drove away. This was definitely going to be one hell of a weekend. It was just him and his brother, all recent events and drama put aside.

After a comfortable hour long drive, the brothers parked the car next to their campsite. "Well, here we are," Alfred said with a relaxed smile.

Matthew nearly jumped out of the car, a brilliant smile adorning his face, as he looked at the campsite with fondness. This was one tradition that the two brothers had that no one else could ever intrude on. It didn't matter that they fought. It didn't matter that they sometimes drove each other crazy. This was the place where they always felt closer then ever.

"Should we go get the tent out of the bag then?" Matthew asked his brother. They didn't always use the tent but, they always put it out as a formality.

Alfred nodded. "Of course. I'll go get it and you do your thing and get it to stay up."

Matthew smiled at his brother's comment. That was always their agreement. Alfred would take everything out and Matthew would set everything up. It was only that way because Alfred was a bit of a slob while Matthew liked things clean and neat and organized. There was no telling what would happen if Al took on the task of putting the site together. All that Mattie knew was that it would be a terrifying sight.

It didn't take long to get completely set up with the two of them working hard towards the goal. After they were done, they stepped back to observe their work.

"Nice job Mattie," Alfred gave a thumbs up in approval.

Matthew gave a bright smile in response. It was nice when they got along like this. There was no fighting, no accusing, just a nice time with his brother. It made him feel damn good to be getting along with Alfred. This was exactly what the two of them needed right now.

After a few hours of relaxing at the campsite, Matthew laid back in his sleeping bag. It was a clear, beautiful, all around perfect night so they had decided to sleep outside rather then confine themselves to a tent. Mattie loved being able to see al the bright pinpricks of light about him. "Hey Al?"

"Hmmm?" Alfred responded.

"This is really nice. I think it's what we needed."

His brother just gave a sleepy nod in response. It was so strange that Alfred was getting tired sooner then Matthew. That almost never happened. Matthew was the one who fell asleep early and woke up early. Alfred was the one who stayed up until the dead of night and woke up whenever the hell her felt like it. "Al?" Mattie asked again.

"Hmmm?"

"You tired?"

Alfred sat up a bit in his sleeping bag, "Kinda, you?"

"A little," Matthew hadn't noticed that over the past few minutes he had been getting more and more tired.

Laying back down, Alfred chuckled softly to himself at his brother's admission. "Good night Mattie."

"Night Al." Matthew felt his eyes getting heavier and his mind drifting. It was getting harder to concentrate on the stars and moon above. He was quickly falling into his dream world. He closed his eyes and let sleep overcome him before long.

_A figure stood in the doorway and Matthew was afraid. He knew, in the back of his mind at least, that there was no reason for the fear. That didn't make it any less real though. He wanted the figure to step into the light, wanted to see its face, but his crippling fear disagreed. He finally worked up enough courage to ask a simple question, "Hello?" The figure stepped into the light and Mattie gasped. "Gil? What the hell are you doing here?"_

_A ghost of a smirk played at Gilbert's lips. "Hey there Birdie. Just thought I'd stop by and tell you that I was thinking of you."_

_That irrational fear gripped Matthew at those words and he shook his head silently in response._

"_You have to learn to let go Mattie, take a chance."_

_Matthew shook his head. "I can't. You know that and you promised not to push the fact."_

_Gil was the one to shake his head this time. "Birdie," he whispered the nickname as he put his hand down on Matthew's shoulder. _

_The scene changed. It was now the past and Mattie was watching two people from the top of the staircase. "Papa?" he called. Francis didn't hear him._

_Francis was facing Arthur. Arthur had his bags in the car already and was about to leave for the very last time. "Angleterre, Mon Cher, you don't want to say goodbye to the boys?"_

"_Got nothing to say," Arthur's voice was completely free of emotion. The lack of emotion coupled with the words themselves made Matthew's eyes brim with tears._

"_Do you have anything to say to me?" Francis asked the tears in his own eyes ready to overflow._

"_Nothing that hasn't been said before," Arthur walked out without another glance at the Frenchman. _

_Francis collapsed on the ground in tears. His breathing was harsh and unsteady. "Arthur," he whispered his voice heavy with emotion. It was just too much for him to take. He was losing the love of his life. _

_Matthew watched the scene with a feeling of betrayal. His father figure had left without sparing him so much as a word. His papa was crying on the ground because love had torn him apart. He couldn't see why anyone would put themselves through this hell. He climbed back up the stairs and lay down on his bed, fear and pain mingling in his mind. A longing for his brother to come in and find him. He needed the comfort. The image of a picture frame, laying smashed on the ground, crept into his mind and stayed there for years to come._

Matthew woke with a start, his heart pounding and tears in his eyes. He tried to get a grip on his emotions unsuccessfully. The mixture of Gilbert and his parents had put his brain on overdrive. He wasn't even sure when it was, let alone where. "Alfred?" he called tentatively. "Please be awake," he added with a whisper.

Alfred rolled over and faced his brother, his eyes still heavy with sleep. "What's up Matt?" He looked at his brother with a more careful eye and he woke up completely when he saw the tears in his eyes. "Shit. Dream again?" he moved closer to his brother and put a protective arm over his shoulder.

Mathew leaned into Alfred. "Yeah, different then usual though. Gil was there this time. And then Arthur leaving…" he trailed off.

Alfred sighed, "It's alright Mattie. I'm here now." He didn't say everything he wanted to say. He wanted to make sure that Matthew understood Gil's presence in the dream was important but, now wasn't the time.

**AN: End of chapter. So interesting few chapters to come guys! Have them all written and just have to type and post so expect some pretty quick updates!**

**Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: So this is an update approximately a week after the previous one… who would have thought I was still capable of that? Yay! So I would like to thank Treegona for this chapter because I had planned on doing a Gilbert one later on but, it really does fit really nicely into the camping trip! (And yes you heard me correctly… this is a Gilbert chapter!) **

**So 5 reviews for the last chapter… not bad! 65 so far for this fic which does make me happy! I do read every review even if I don't always get around to replying to them and they really brighten up any day! Please review! Mattie will hug you! I know everyone wants that!**

**Well here it is… a Gilbert Chapter!**

After talking to Alfred for half an hour or so, Matthew felt much better about both aspects of the dream. He didn't go back asleep though, for one thing he didn't normally do so and for another it was almost morning anyway. Alfred did fall back to sleep however. For a moment, he considered texting Gil but, the twins had a rule against texting friends while on their trip. Instead, he watched the sunrise with an almost hopeful approach to the day.

* * *

It was five in the damn morning and Gilbert was staring at the ceiling in dismay. He hadn't woken up at five; he was just still up from the night before and knew, without a doubt, that he wasn't going to sleep at all today. He had stayed up, staring at the computer screen all night. It wasn't a matter of wanting to stay up, more like not being able to sleep.

There had been many sleepless nights lately. Gilbert chuckled a bit at the idea. His bout of insomnia was all thanks to his lovely Canadian best friend. Mattie didn't know about that of course. He didn't know those violet eyes haunted Gilbert every night. He didn't know how hard Gilbert had to try to ignore those thoughts and feelings.

Sure, Mattie knew that Gilbert loved him, after all, Gil had told the Canadian himself. Matthew didn't know, didn't understand, how much though. He didn't know how much it hurt when you loved someone so much but they didn't believe in love.

"Damn it Birdie," he whispered to himself, "Why can't you see?"

His eyes stung with unshed tears and they would stay that way. Crying just wasn't what awesome people did while alone in their room at five. Shit, he knew why Matthew believed what he did. He accepted and respected that. Still, it was so damn hard sometimes.

A knock on the door broke his reverie. A glance at the clock told him an hour had passed. "What the hell?"

Ludwig took that as an invitation to come into his older brother's room. "Another sleepless night I see," he commented, slight concern on his face.

"You could say that," Gilbert grumbled. He wasn't in the mood for one of his brother's frequent lectures on this or that. He hadn't seen or heard from Mattie in two days and it was slowly driving him insane. Well, it was making him irritable at least. Damn it, he missed his Birdie. Even if he couldn't get Matthew to accept how he felt, he still loved talking to him, helping him, just plain seeing him.

"What's going on Gilbert?" Ludwig sat at the foot of his bed, causing Gilbert to pull his feet closer to his body.

"I repeat what the hell? Not an awesome intrusion." Gilbert wondered if he should tell his brother. It was clear to everyone how he felt. Sharing feelings with you hardass little brother wasn't awesome though. "It's nothing," he said in response to Ludwig's question.

Ludwig shrugged as he stood up. "Alright," he responded as he walked out of the room. "At least he's coming back in a few days." That was Ludwig's last comment as he walked out of the room.

Gilbert smirked. Yeah, he would be. That meant that Gilbert would be able to hang out with his Birdie again soon. He still wouldn't sleep, it would still hurt, he would still hate this shit but, at least Matthew would be back.

"This is torture." Gilbert said as he sat on his computer chair a few hours later. He didn't feel like leaving the house and gracing the world with his awesome presence today. He just wanted to sit in his room and sulk which was easier then usual because Ludwig was out working or some shit like that.

It gave Gilbert an excuse to finally give into his pain for just a moment. It gave him some time to just stop pretending that Matthew didn't get under his skin. Gilbert couldn't just sit by and let Matthew do this shit forever. It was obvious that Matt was sat and even lonely. It drove Gilbert crazy. He was in loved with the violet eyed Canadian and it hurt like hell most days. Mattie was so damn terrified of love, of getting hurt, of letting anyone in. Gilbert wished he could show hi that not everyone was like Arthur. Love didn't have to hurt. He would never hurt Matthew.

"Shit," Gilbert muttered. It was worse now; Gilbert just cared so much now that it was worse then ever before. Mathew didn't know that it got worse over time. He didn't know that Gilbert fell for him more and more every day. He did know that Gilbert loved him but, not the extent.

This just made everything harder for the Canadian. Francis was kind of with Arthur again, Alfred was dating Kiku; Gilbert was in love with him. All things considered, Matthew was probably feeling betrayed and scared and confused. Gilbert wished he could just take all of that away. He wished he could kick both Francis' and Arthur's asses for the hell they put that kid through for years and the lasting effect it had. He wished Alfred would learn some damn tact when handling his brother. He wished he could show Matthew that things weren't always bad.

Gilbert let out an exasperated sigh. He was just going in circles with his thoughts now. Nothing new or constructive came of it. If he could think of a way then maybe it would be worth it but, for the time being, all Gilbert could do was be a friend and softly nudge the Canadian in the right direction.

"He'll be back soon," Gilbert reminded himself.

**AN: so this was my first Gilbert chapter of this fic! I'm considering doing some more like this later on possibly… maybe not…we shall see! Well this is my update for today! Expect another chapter before long!**

**Also, I'm taking requests for Halloween fics as it's October and I want to try to do a bunch! So request away!**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: So this is an update with barely any time in between! I love when I'm mysteriously able to do stuff like that and make you guys happy by updating and make myself happy by not taking forever to write stuff! So you guys get an update and this chapter is a bit longer then the last one!**

**As for reviews… you guys rock… there were a few for the last chapter and that made me happy... so far there are 70 for the fic which makes me happy! If you couldn't tell reviews make my day! Well… continue reviewing for Mattie hugs!**

**And here is the chapter!**

Alfred and Matthew sat in comfortable silences for about ten minutes of the ride home from the campsite. It was actually nice, just as the weekend had been. As soon as the silence was broken however, Matthew wanted to go back to that peaceful, comfortable silence.

"That was fun," Alfred commented casually.

"It definitely was," Matthew cheerfully agreed.

"So you know how you had that nightmare the first night?" Alfred asked without much preamble.

Matthew was slightly on guard because of that question but, didn't bother to change the subject. Once his brother started discussing something, he wanted to talk about it forever and nothing could dissuade him. "Yeah," he answered cautiously.

"This one included Gilbert correct?"

Matthew sighed. "Alfred, I know what you're getting at but you're wrong. It's not important at all so stop reading into things."

Alfred shook his head. "He was in the dream about dad and Arthur, that means something Matt. There is a reason even if you won't admit it."

"No, there's not," Matthew explained as clearly as possible. "People often have people they know in their dreams. That's all that happened Al."

Alfred shook his head again. "It was in that particular dream though. You've had it for years and it's about your past so it's important."

Matthew shook his head this time. It was clear that al wasn't going to listen to reason about this anymore. "No Al, it isn't. And I'm done explaining it to you. This conversation is over."

Alfred nodded even if he didn't agree and wanted to keep going. He would have to drop it for now but, definitely not for good. He would bring it up again later. "Fine Mattie, let's talk about something else. How about when you ran away from that raccoon yesterday?"

Matthew laughed and wished Alfred wasn't driving so he could hit him. "Now that certainly did not happen."

* * *

They pulled into the driveway and Alfred got out first. His eyes landed on the kitchen window and he saw Francis and Arthur just standing there. His hearts sank as he turned to look at Matthew. His twin hadn't noticed them yet and he planned on keeping it that way.

"Hey Matt! I have to run inside real quick. You mind starting to unpack yourself?"

Matthew groaned, his brother was being lazy again, as usual. "Alright but you better get your ass back out here before long!" He called back.

Alfred nodded and ran into the house. He ran straight for the kitchen and then towards Francis. "What the hell dad?"

Francis looked up, startled. "What do you mean Alfred?"

"Don't play innocent with me. You know exactly why I'm here and pissed." Alfred's normally carefree attitude was replaced with a fierce protectiveness.

Francis glanced at Arthur with a guilty expression on his face. "Just let him explain himself Cher."

Alfred turned away from his father and glared at Arthur. "What are you doing here?"

Arthur had a pained look on his face. "I wanted to speak to you and your brother."

"No," Alfred responded. "Not right now at least. Matt doesn't want to see you and neither do I."

Arthur nodded sadly. He had expected that and respected the fact that they didn't want him around.

Francis didn't give in so easily though, "Alfred, Arthur, can't we just discuss this? I'm with Arthur again so you'll have to get used to him."

Alfred turned to his father. "No, we can't. Not now and not ever if Matthew doesn't want to."

Arthur laid a hand on Francis' arm. "This is all my fault so I don't expect them to accept me back in their lives. I made a lot of mistakes and messed things up for all of us. When they do decide to talk to me, it will have to be on their terms. They'll have to want to hear me out."

Francis looked like he was about to argue but, thought better of it. He could tell that neither Alfred nor Arthur were budging and he knew how they both got when they felt sure about something. "Fine. I can't argue with you because I know you won't budge."

"Francis, I don't think I should come around anymore, at least until the boys are alright with it," Arthur suggested.

"Maybe that would be best," Francis agreed sadly.

Alfred interrupted the two in annoyance. "Arthur should leave before Matthew finds out he's here. Now would be preferable."

Arthur nodded and kissed Francis quickly before walking towards the back door. "I'll call you tonight."

Alfred watched him leave before turning around and going back outside to see if his twin needed any help.

"Al! Everything's outside the car. It's your job now!" Matthew called out.

Alfred groaned, "It's so much work though!"

Walking towards the door, Matthew didn't even bother to turn around and face his brother. "That's what you get for trying to go inside and skip out on the work." He went inside and stopped by kitchen to say hi to his father. "Hey papa."

Francis looked up with a falsely cheerful expression. "Mathieu! How was your trip?"

"Lots of fun. It was exactly what Al and I needed to get over our little fight," Matthew answered enthusiastically.

Francis gave his son a warm smile. "I'm glad. I was worried you two would fight the whole time."

Matthew chuckled. "You weren't. You know what this annual trip means to us and that we couldn't even force ourselves to fight there."

Francis laughed. "I know, was just testing you."

Matthew smiled before backing up to leave the kitchen. He wanted to get to his room and text Gilbert as soon as possible. "I'm going upstairs papa."

Francis nodded and Matthew let the kitchen.

* * *

Alfred had a small smile on his face as he worked on bringing everything inside. It may be more work but, it was worth making sure Matthew didn't see Arthur. He didn't want that for his brother. He didn't want to reintroduce that pain to Mattie so soon after a good weekend.

* * *

Matthew went up to his room and took out his phone with a bright smile on his face.

_To: Gil_

_From: Mattie_

_Message: Hey Gil! Long time no see! Just got home and figured I'd text you!_

Gilbert's response was almost immediate and made Matthew laugh.

_To: Mattie_

_From: Gil_

_Message: Birdie! Damn, was wondering if a bear ate u or some shit. How was it?_

_To: Gil_

_From: Mattie_

_Message: Awesome! Just what me and Al needed._

Matthew didn't mention the dream. He didn't feel it was necessary. It was better to just talk like they normally did. He didn't want to worry or burden Gilbert.

_To: Mattie_

_From: Gil_

_Message: Awesome! So you up for hanging out sometime this week? What day works?_

_To: Gil_

_From: Mattie_

_Message: any day but, Thursday._

_To: Mattie_

_From: Gil_

_Message: tomorrow then?_

Matthew considered that for a moment. Tomorrow was Wednesday and he had nothing going on. In all honesty, he just really wanted to see Gilbert again. He had missed talking to his best friend over the last few days.

_To: Gil_

_From: Mattie_

_Message: Sure. Any idea what you wanna do?_

_To: Mattie_

_From: Gil_

_Message: I have a plan_

Matthew glanced at the message in confusion. What the hell? The Prussian already had a plan? How was that possible when Gilbert hadn't even known when Matthew would be available?

_To: Gil_

_From: Mattie_

_Message: and what would that plan be?_

_To: Mattie_

_From: Gil_

_Message: secret. Just dress for fun and walking. Might wanna bring a bathing suit just in case._

Matthew was even more confused but, figured that if Gil wouldn't tell him now, he likely wouldn't tell him later. He would just have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

_To: Gil_

_From: Mattie_

_Message: fine. What time?_

_To: Mattie _

_From: Gil_

_Message: b ready by 8 AM… gotta go… c u tomorrow._

Matthew started at his phone for a few moments before figuring that he got as much information as Gil would give him. It was pointless to argue for anything more. He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes slowly.

* * *

Gilbert sent out one last text before closing his phone with an incredibly satisfied smirk. He laid back and hoped sleep would come to night. Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't; either way he was happy that he would be able to see his Birdie tomorrow and that he had accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. Afterward hanging out with Mattie, he would have to deal with some pertinent issues but, for now he could just enjoy the thought that he would see his Canadian tomorrow.

* * *

Francis heard his phone go off and ran to get it. There was a new text.

_To: Francis_

_Message: I need to speak to you, Arthur, and Alfred on Thursday. I will not take any excuses as to why any of you can't be there, this is more important than any of your previous plans. We will meet in the place where world meetings to take place no later then 11:00. No need to reply as I know your answer will be 'yes I will be there.' See you Thursday_

_~Gilbert_

**AN: End of chapter! And a long one at that! I love it!**

**Lots going on here and lots of setup for the next few chapters!**

**Also, if you want to request a Halloween fic feel free to do so!**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: So it's been a while because I'm participated in NaNoWriMo and have been almost completely focused on that. Well, the reviews for the last chapter were awesome and I most say that they made me want to update almost immediately. Unfortunately, my plans did not coincide. So after a few weeks of waiting, here's the newest chapter~**

**Please continue to review for Mattie hugs! They really make my day so fantastic!**

It was about 7:50 AM and Matthew was standing outside, waiting for his best friend to pick him up and take him wherever the hell he planned on taking him that day. Yesterday had gone surprisingly well; no fights with his dad or brother, no major crisis, no nightmares. He had gone to sleep early and felt completely refreshed upon waking up. It was the kind of day that came once in a blue moon and Matthew was ecstatic. Now the only question was where Gilbert planned on taking him.

Matthew knew it was best not to dwell on it, but he just could not help himself. He wanted to know what was happening today. He had dressed just like Gilbert had told him to, but he couldn't be sure that he was dressed appropriately. He didn't have any sort of plan for today. He didn't even have the slightest idea on how the day would progress. That drove him absolutely insane.

After about 15 minutes of standing outside, only five minutes later than the planned time, Gilbert's car pulled into the driveway. The Prussian was visible through the windshield, his crimson eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses. He waved at Matthew in greeting before motioning that Matthew should get in the car. The Canadian complied with a friendly smile.

"Hey Gil," he called as he slid into the passenger seat of the car. "Right on time today."

"Like I'm ever late," Gilbert scoffed playfully. "You ready to go Birdie?"

Matthew put on his seatbelt and nodded in response to Gilbert's question. He was definitely ready for today. It had been an awesome weekend followed by an awesome day. He was ready to continue the trend today. It did not matter that much if he didn't know where they were going, even if he was incredibly curious. He just wanted to have a good day with his best friend. He had kind of missed Gil over the past few days. It was strange for him to go that long without talking to his best friend.

"So where are we going?" Matthew asked.

Gilbert shook his head. "Now Birdie, I can't tell you that. It's got to be a surprise when we get there."

"Fine," Matthew pouted a bit. "I'll let that slide for now. You better make this worth my time though. If you don't I'll be sure to kick your ass. Or make you watch hockey with me again."

Gilbert shuddered at the memory of the last time Matthew made him watch hockey. The Canadian appeared sweet and docile, but when he was watching hockey, he got fierce and terrifying. It was a fascinating transformation that left most people feeling uneasy. "I promise it will be."

Matthew nodded; pacified for the time being, and leaned his had against the window. He loved watching the world whiz by when he was in a car. It was relaxing to see the town, or the green of the grass, or a city, or just the road in front of them.

A comfortable silence came over the passengers of the car for a while as Matthew stared out the window and Gilbert drove.

Matthew was not sure how long they stayed that way, but it couldn't have been more than half an hour.

He glanced at Gilbert when the car slowed down. They were turning into a parking lot which led Matthew to believe they had finally reached their destination. Matthew looked around them, eager to get a first glance at the place he was going to be for the majority of his day. He shot Gilbert a surprised and pleased look when he recognized the amusement park.

Gilbert smiled at Matthew's surprised expression. It seemed like Mattie hadn't expected his plan to be a trip to the amusement park. True, Gilbert didn't seem like the kind of guy who got excited over amusement parks, but who didn't like them? "We're here birdie," he stated the obvious.

Matthew stifled his laughter; he had dressed appropriately after all. "Not a bad choice Gil."

The car was already parked so Gilbert opened his door. "Thought you would like it." He stepped out of the car and watched as Matthew go out. The adorable Canadian looked so damn cute when he was excited. "Today's all about fun Birdie."

XXXX

An hour had passed and so far the day had been a huge success. The pair had already gotten a few rides in and were on line for another one. It was about 10:00 by then and Gilbert planned on staying here with Matthew all day. Tomorrow was going to be stressful for the Prussian so he needed today to be wonderful. There wasn't an actual plan for the amusement park, other than going on every ride they could go on.

They were currently waiting to get on a roller coaster and Gilbert sensed Matthew's nervous anticipation. "You sure you want to get on this one?" he asked the Canadian.

Matthew gave a nervous smile and nodded. "It's fine. I always get this way before I go on a roller coaster. I get the nerves and then they go away once I actually get on ride," he explained.

Gilbert gave a soft chuckle and nodded in understanding. He put a hand on Matthew's shoulder. "No need to get nervous Birdie, the awesome me is here to make sure the nerves go away."

Matthew considered hitting Gil right then. It seemed like the perfect idea. Although, it was strange that Gilbert had managed to calm his nerves with a few arrogant comments.

Gilbert's red eyes met Matthew's violet ones. The Prussian had taken off his sunglasses a while ago. Matthew quickly broke eye contact as soon as the line moved forward and they finally made it to the front. They were seated and ended up in the front row. The ride started and Matthew felt a rush of nerves and excitement. By the time the ride ended, Matthew was filled with a new and strange energy.

The pair continued on the roller coaster rush until they got hungry at about one. Gilbert picked out a buffet-type restaurant and led the smaller boy inside with him. They picked a table and talked animatedly over lunch. "You look happy" Gilbert stated.

Matthew stopped in the middle of his excited tirade and smiled up at Gil. "I guess I am. It's been a good few days."

"That's awesome Birdie. You deserve it."

Mattie wasn't sure if he agreed with Gilbert on that fact but he could definitely appreciate it. It was so easy to just let go and have fun when he was with Gil. The Prussian was just easy to be with. It was something that Matthew didn't experience with most people in his life. Matthew sighed and went back to his light and mindless chatter from before.

After a few rides and a few hours later, Gilbert put his hand on Matthew's shoulder. "Hey Birdie, how about we go shopping for souvenirs?"

Matthew nodded in agreement. "That sounds amazing Gil."

Gilbert smiled and led Matthew into the nearest shop. He watched the Canadian run around, picking up the most interesting things as he went and then stop and considered what he actually wanted. Gilbert browed a bit before he saw a little stuffed polar bear. He smiled to himself and picked it up. They paid for their stuff and then walked out into the fading light of sunset. They walked around, getting to the last of the rides in the park.

When they got off the last ride, it was completely dark except for the unnatural lights of the amusement park. Gilbert put a hand up to stop Matthew and the Canadian looked up in confusion. Gilbert pointed at the sky and Matthew looked up to see the bright flash of fireworks bursting overhead. Matthew had completely forgotten about the fireworks show that the park put on almost every night. He kept his eyes trained on the sky with a smile on his face. He had always loved how fireworks could light up a night sky with brilliant pinks and blues and yellows.

Gilbert's red eyes weren't on the sky; they were on the sweet Canadian next to him. Matthew looked so damn happy today. Happy, excited, and bright. It was a new view and one that Gilbert loved.

After about ten minutes of standing like that, Gilbert put a hand on Matthew's shoulder and moved him towards the parking lot slowly. He pushed him close to wall next to them and was suddenly overcome by impulse. He stepped closer to the small blonde male, backing him into the wall.

Unable and unwilling to control this strong impulse, Gilbert leaned forward and lightly brushed the Canadian's lips with his own. Matthew's eyes were huge and fearful. He backed up a bit further, but didn't say a word to stop the Prussian. He was yet again frozen by gilbert. Gilbert wasn't thinking anymore. If he had been, he would never have pushed Matthew into this when he knew how his best friend felt.

Gilbert's mind was clear of everything except for Matthew. He had reached a breaking point and wasn't aware of it until watching those fireworks. He leaned even closer to the Canadians and brought his lips down to the Matthew's again. The kiss was much deeper this time, but still soft and gentle with only the slightest hint of fire underneath. Gilbert put all of his feelings of tenderness and care into it. One hand cupped the back of Matthew's neck and the other was on the Canadian's waist.

Matthew was afraid and shocked, but after a moment, he responded nervously. His hand rose and gripped Gilbert's lightly. Gilbert could taste the nerves, but was slightly encouraged by the response. He was encouraged by the fact that Matthew did not pull away.

Gilbert deepened the kiss and let in more of that passion and frustration he had been pushing back for so long. It was then that Gilbert started to regain his senses. He had pushed past a boundary. Reluctantly, he broke off the kiss. He stayed close to Matthew for only a moment before backing up slowly. He was nervous now and watched Matthew carefully. He was afraid that he had pushed too far too soon.

Matthew stared ahead of him, shocked at both Gilbert's actions and his own reactions. He leaned back against the wall in an effort to get control over himself once more. He should have pushed Gilbert away, he should have said something. The problem was he didn't want to. That very thought terrified Matthew more than anything else. It left him feeling uneasy and confused as hell. "G-Gil," he stuttered. "What the hell was that?"

Gilbert looked down at the ground. "I got ahead of myself," he explained. "I'm sorry."

Matthew shook his head at the apology. He didn't want apologies. Tears fell softly as he considered the situation. They were not tears of sadness though. They were tears of frustration and fear and confusion. Why the hell did everyone have to leave him scared and confused? "Sorry? I don't know if I can accept that Gilbert."

Gilbert moved a few steps forward, but stopped himself short of touching the Canadian. "Shit. Please don't cry Mattie. I'm sorry. I fucked up and gave in and I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry."

Matthew turned to face the wall for a moment. He needed to get himself back under control. He was freaking out over the kiss and taking it out on Gilbert. Matthew took a few deep breaths to stop the tears and then counted to ten. He had been told once that it was a good way to calm yourself down. When he turned back around he wasn't crying anymore. His gaze was guarded, but no longer accusing. "It's fine Gil. We all slip up sometimes. I just overreacted."

Gilbert could see that Matthew was still upset even if the stubborn Canadian wouldn't admit it. He gave an apologetic smile. "Let's just get home and forget this happened." he said the words, but knew he didn't mean them. He wasn't really sorry either and he didn't regret what he had done. He only regretted his timing. He should have waited longer for this moment. One thing was certain though, there was no way in hell he would ever forget that kiss. His resolve for what had to be done tomorrow had tripled. Those three were going to get an earful whether they liked it or not.

Gilbert now realized that Matthew wasn't going to come around on his own, at least not any time soon. It was going to take a lot of pressure from him and the ones who had done this to him in the first place. Gilbert was more determined than ever to get through to his best friend.

Matthew nodded and led the way to the car. Once on the road, the car was absolutely silent. It was such a contrast to the loud and fun day that had preceded it. Matthew wished that he could think of something to say but, he was at a loss now. He did not want things to be awkward between the two, but he could not see any other way after what had transpired. Finally, the silence got too much for Matthew to bear. "Thanks a lot for taking me today. It was a lot of fun."

"Glad you liked it Birdie."

"And about what happened…"Matthew trailed off, not entirely sure what to say about it.

"Don't" Gilbert insisted. "It's fine. You don't need to explain anything."

Matthew let out a sigh. That wasn't true; he did have to explain everything. True, Gilbert already knew the story but he didn't, he couldn't, understand how hard all of this was. He knew better than to argue with Gil so he just let it die into silence. This time, the silence lasted until Gilbert pulled into Matthew's driveway.

"Thanks again," Matthew said as he went to get out of the car.

Gilberts hand on his arm stopped him. "Hey Birdie," he began, pulling a small stuffed animal out of his bag. "I got this for you."

Matthew smiled when he saw that it was a polar bear, his favorite animal. "You didn't have to."

Gilbert nodded. "I know. I wanted to."

Matthew looked at Gilbert for a moment, for the third time that night he didn't know what to say. "Thanks Gil. I love it."

Gilbert smiled softly. "I hoped you would. Now go on and get inside. It's late and you're probably tired."

Matthew nodded in appreciation. He really was exhausted now. "Goodnight Gil."

"Goodnight Birdie," Gil said as he watched Matthew walk towards the house. He then backed out of the driveway and smirked to himself as he thought of the next day. He would have lots of fun tearing the three morons apart.

**AN: So I personally think that this long chapter was quite good! I personally think that the PruCan scene was my favorite part to write!**

**Please review!**


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